How to Make Canadian Thanksgiving Dinner with Dollar Store Ingredients!

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year




Image result for thanksgiving stock photo

It’s that time of year again! The second Monday of October is right around the corner, and that means it’s time for Canadian Thanksgiving, or Action de grâce as it’s called in Quebec. But who can deal with the hassle, stress and cost of a full Canadian Thanksgiving dinner?

This stress-free, easy guide will show you how to prepare an entire Canadian Thanksgiving feast using ingredients purchased exclusively at the Dollar Store. Feed your entire family for under $10 CAD and stay free from stress. People from provinces across the nation of Canada, from Manitoba to British Columbia will love these Great Canadian Dollar Store variations on Canadian classics! Don’t waste your hard earned paycheck on a hefty grocer’s bill from Loblaw’s…eat fresh, healthy and deliciously with these simple Great Canadian Dollar Store ingredients.


Stuffing

What Canadian Thanksgiving would be complete without a hot, piping pile of Stuffing? This Canadian Thanksgiving treat is made from old scraps of bread. But who has time to collect and cultivate old bread, chop up aged loaves and deal with the messy crumbs and cost prohibitive sauces and spices?

Here’s the easy dollar store solution!

Instead of chopping up old bread, why not use pre-chopped and aged breadcrumbs?

They are essentially the same thing as old bread chunks, but in a miniaturized version.

Take your breadcrumbs, dump them in a pan and pour in a container of Armour Vienna Sausages

Image result for armour vienna sausage.

These Sausage Bites are floating in Chicken Broth, which is an essential Stuffing Ingredient. The Yummy wieners will also spice up this Canadian Thanksgiving Classic. Traditionally, Stuffing calls for Onions and Celery. Why waste your time and money on fresh onions and celery, when you can buy Onion Powder  and dump it right on?

The celery is a bit trickier. You will have to buy a can of Chicken Soup, and pull out the celery bits to add to the Stuffing. Many people (like myself) cannot stand the taste of celery, so I’ll skip this part. But if you do like Celery in Your Canadian Thanksgiving Stuffing, just grab a can of Healthy Choice Chicken with Rice Soup, pick out the pre-cooked Celery Chunks and sprinkle them on.

Image result for healthy choice chicken soup

Now pre-heat your oven to 190 Celsius, bake for 35 minutes and voila! Canadian Thanksgiving Stuffing that’s just as good, if not better, than what you’d make using traditional ingredients, and at $4, who can beat it?

What You’ll Need

-1 package Seasoned Breadcrumbs

-1 can vienna sausages

-1 2 oz container onion powder

-1 can Chicken with Rice Soup (for celery) Optional

Directions

Pre-Heat Oven to 190 Celsius. DUmp all ingredients in pan. If celery is desired, pick from Chicken Soup can. Put in oven for 35 mintues.


Jellied Cranberry Sauce

My family can’t get enough of the traditional Canadian style Jellied Cranberry sauce.  Nothing says Canadian Thanksgiving like a dollop of the Jellied Cran next to a steaming and fresh Turkey leg. Canada, in fact, is the world’s second-largest producer of this tart red fruit. But Jellying at home can be a nightmare. And unless you can afford to take time off work to travel to the annual Ontario Cranberry Harvest, good luck picking your own!  Us Canucks love Cranberries so much that I’ve been to farms far too many times that have been picked clean, with not a single berry on the bush!

Luckily there’s no need to do all of that time consuming, expensive and DANGEROUS home jellying. Simply grab a can of Ruby Kist Jellied Cranberry Sauce. It tastes just like Grandma’s Canadian Jellied Sauces, but at this price point and convenience level, who can turn it down?




Turkey

Image result for turkey

Turkey is the  pièce de résistance, as the Québécois might call it, to any Canadian Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, Turkey is a bird that costs a pretty penny at Loblaw’s, and is not affordable on a budget. 

So instead of buying one, why not hunt a wild turkey? Turkeys can be found milling about in the woods of eastern Ontario, southern Quebec and the southern-most parts of the four western provinces. So grab your shotgun and hitch a VIA Rail to one of those regions. Once you’ve made your kill, use these Dollar Store scissors (or ciseaux in Quebec) to cut all the feathers off of the bird.

 

Your Turkey should look just like  a store-bought one now! AS long as you cut off the head and the feathers it will look like a clean grocery store One!

Now, empty out the organs and throw them in the trash can. Grab a Large Rectangular Foil Roaster Pan from the Dollar Store and toss the bird in.

Pre-heat your over to 200 Celsius and cook it for about 5 hours. If it’s too dry, Add Dollar Store Crystal Geyser Natural Alpine Spring Water to the pan to get the bird more wet and taste more juicy.



All DOne!
Image result for thanksgiving

And there you have it! A delicious and traditional Canadian Thanksgiving meal for under $10 CAD.


Using Hallucinogenic Drugs to Lose Weight FAST!


Using Hallucinogenic Drugs to Lose Weight FAST!

 

Expand your Conscious Mind While Contracting Your WaistLine using LSD and Psilocybin Mushrooms!

By Dr. James Belmont

 

 

 




Introduction

There I was, lying on the couch watching Flip This House eating a bag of spicy chips and drinking a Coors Light after a hefty meal of BBQ’d Pork Loin and a Burger. “At least the beer is light!” I thought to myself. A High Life is what I aimed to achieve, but it was turning into anything but. My stomach was protruding in a grotesque manner and when I poked my tummy with a stick it jiggled around. Was this really me? What happened to the slim, athletic fellow who had just earned his doctorate in Pharmacology? Where was the handsome chap that took Mary Beth Galloway, the hottest girl at Jamson High, to the prom in 12th grade? I felt like I had lost control of my life, my body, and most tragically, my happiness.

Where did I make this wrong turn? And was there any turning back? The ailments and side effects associated with obesity can be life threatening. I didn’t want to be one of those obese men in a wheelchair at the all-you-can-eat buffet on a Saturday morning. I turned off the TV. I so badly wanted to lose weight, but did not want to put the energy or effort into it. Calorie counting, stepping on the scale, dieting, working out were just simply not compatible with my lifestyle. As a Pharmacologist, I wondered why no one had created a dieting pill that ACTUALLY WORKED. I set out to find a way to lose weight easily, quickly and safely. And you won’t believe what I found out! Read on to find out!

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1: Psychotropic Thunder- My Catastrophic Fall Down The Rabbit Hole

I had begun drinking copious amounts of alcohol each night, which was not only contributing to my fat gut, but was also a ‘gateway’ to more drugs. Before I knew it I was smoking pot every night, and even bringing my bong to work to smoke in the parking lot during lunch. I started going to various nightclubs and snorting cocaine, and occasionally smoking opium and other harder substances. I found that just about all of these drugs made me hungry, so I’d invariably wind up at a late night diner scarfing down a Gyro Platter with a Milkshake at 3 am, only to wake up at 6 for work and eat a massive bowl of Lucky Charms. The drugs were making me fat, tired and strung out.

I had always assumed drugs to be the glamorous and sexy acoutrement to wealthy, beautiful high-society folks. Here I was with a 90k a year Pharmacy gig, penniless, fat and abusing every substance I could get my hands on. Mr. Edwards, track coach at Jamson High, would certainly not have approved.

I was at the lowest of the low, until one day someone slipped me an acid tab inside a nightclub. I took it, not knowing what to expect. Three months later I was 80 pounds lighter, feeling great and having fun. The experience literally changed me forever and now I can share with you the secrets to losing weight quickly and easily…and have FUN doing it, using LSD and Psilocybin Mushrooms!

 

 

 




Chapter 2: Get Low!

When using Acid and Mushrooms to lose weight, don’t think of it as “getting high.” Think of it as “getting low,” meaning lowering your weight, as opposed to making it higher.

When I took my first hit of Acid, the world looked completely strange to me. I lost all sense of Space and Time. Seconds felt like hours. I would close my eyes and stare into infinity, realizing that I am but a minuscule micro-organism, inextricably connected to all other beings in the Lego construction we call the universe. I stared into the mirror and saw a dangerously overweight man…but inside the Fat Man I saw a thin man. You see, LSD taught me that we each have an Aura, which has an assigned weight. My aura was thin! It was just a matter of shedding off the pounds from my physical frame and letting my aura shine!

During my first trip I not only saw my thin and fit Aura, I also “hallucinated” my Aura’s visit to a dietician, who confirmed that its spiritual BMI was at a healthy level. The reason I put the word “hallucinate” in quotation marks is that I do not believe that these projections are false…they are completely real, in the spiritual world, but only Hallucinogenic substances allow us to truly see them. I soon realized that in order to lose weight in the physical reality I’d need to get in touch with my thin aura by using LSD and other hallucinogenic drugs.

Simply put, I loved my experience. I started to “Get Low” every day. I would typically take 3-5 acid tabs a day and 1-2 doses of Mushrooms.

 

 

 

Chapter 3: A Brief History of Psychedelics

Psychedelic drugs were first invented and popularized by Albert Hoffman, a Hippie in the 1960s.  Cities, like San Francisco, were places where many of the other hippies would gather and eat the LSD tabs and dance around. They listened to music such as the Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix and Pink Floyd.

LSD was briefly used for medicinal purposes, but this was foolishly abandoned because of societal conservatism. WE are the most obese nation in the world, and yet the most effective tool for shedding pounds remains a Schedule III drug.  Clearly this is because of the junk food lobbies and the unrepentant greed of corporations like the McDonalds Corporation.

Mushrooms, on the other hand, were not human made, but occur naturally in nature. People can use them to “get low,” just like LSD…exxcept they’re not as strong.



 

Chapter 4: How to Lose Weight Using Psychedelics (Your Daily Plan)

If you’re like me, calorie counting and exercise are two of the most painful-to-hear words in the English language. Luckily, my plan eradicates those annoying aspects of losing weight. The first step to shedding pounds on psychedelics is to eat only Psilocybin Mushrooms for Lunch and Dinner. They are very low in calories, taste great, and will help you “get low.” These mushrooms have a very pleasant, meaty texture, so you can eradicate all that calorie-rich meat from your diet.

If you still feel hungry after eating your mushrooms, just let them settle in your stomach. You will begin to trip in no time, and will certainly forget about eating.

I recommend supplementing the mushrooms with 5-6 tabs of acid taken every few hours of the day. You will be tripping for most of the day and will not be thinking about food. You will be able to see your Aura in the mirror and see the true thin you inside the Fat Boy.

 



 

Chapter 5: The Myth of Microdosing

Recently, “Microdosing” LSD has become popular in society. While there is nothing wrong with microdosing,it is not as effective at helping you shed pounds. If you are taking small portions of the drug you won’t “get low” enough to have an effect. In other words, microdosing will help you lose a little bit of weight, but not much. You may lose 5-10 pounds, but not 90 or 100 like I did.

 

 




Chapter 6: The Downsides of Losing Weight Using LSD

Many people argue that LSD is a dangerous drug. They couldn’t be wronger. One common argument I hear is that LSD can provoke schizophrenia in people who are genetically predisposed to that disease and therefore more susceptible. In response I ask this, would you rather be skinny and schizophrenic? Or Fat and “sane?” How can you even enjoy sanity if you are fat? The answer is YOU CANNOT! It is absolutely worth the “risk.”
Another concern I frequently hear is that Mushrooms and LSD are both highly illegal and some folks are concerned that they could be arrested, especially for purchasing the large dosages that I’m recommending. THe answer is that YES, these substances are illegal, but with this release of this revolutionary book the medical community and therefore the courts, will understand and look more favorably upon users. So if you do get arrested in the process of using my system, first show a copy of the book to the arresting officer. If that doesn’t work, make sure to present it to the judge in court. Take plenty of before and after pictures to prove that it was an effective method for losing weight.

 

 

 

Chapter 7: The Fat Aura

As I mentioned, when I first took LSD I saw my aura in the mirror, and it was thin as a rail. It gave me the motivation and inspiration to lose weight in the physical realm. Unfortunately, some people do have fat auras. Science cannot yet explain how this works, but some people with fat auras can be skinny in physical reality.  But what can you do if you have a fat aura, and are fat in physical reality? The unfortunate answer is not much. If you enjoy taking psychedlelics, then feel free to continue using them, but they won’t help you lose weight, you fat fuck!

 

 




Chapter 8: Staying the Course

Once you begin replacing meals with psilocybin mushrooms and start to lose weight, do not stop! If you feel like it’s too much for you, too intense, just think about how much worse it is to be fat. No one will hire you for a job, and you will likely be denied housing as well. Society finds fat folk to be the lowest of the low. If you want to find good employment and housing, keep eating the psilocybins at every meal and intersperse with acid tabs every few hours. You cannot go wrong using my system. The system is flawless. If you don’t follow the rules, you are the flaw.

 

 




Chapter 9: Conclusion

I was a fat and miserable slob. I was addicted to drugs and alcohol. Now I am skinny, looking great and feeling even better, all thanks to Hallucinogenic drugs. My Aura and my Physical Body are harmonious in that they are both thin! Try it out! And please email me to let me know of your results. My email address is AcidDoctor101@yahoo.com.



 

 

 

How to Sound Like Tool using guitars and guitar pedals

Tool Time

Image result for tool



So, you want to achieve the sound of Tool on guitar? It’s not an easy thing to do, but with this guide you can achieve those sounds of guitarist Adam Jones more easily than you could before. The Tool band featuring Maynard and others was well-loved by many adoring fans who thought they made good music. Their long, long songs were scary and they had dark nightmare themes in their music videos, such as the one that was claymation. They made dark music in the tradition of other great bands like Marilyn Manson, Ozzy Osbourne and Slipknot.

Guitar Tips n’ Tricks

Adam Jones of the Tool band uses many different very cool but very expensive guitars. Adam uses Gibson Les Paul guitars and Gibson SG guitars which are quite nice.

Image result for gibson les paul

However there’s no way the guitarist on a budget could afford such guitars. However, there’s no need to worry! All guitars sound the same, and the main difference is just in how they look. So why not go for the  Crescent MG38-CF 38″ Acoustic Guitar Starter Package?




Image result for Crescent MG38-CF 38"

At only $36.95 it has everything you need to get the TOOl sound, including a Crescent Digital E-Tuner so that you can keep the guitar in tune while playing such Tool songs as Schism and Stinkfist.

Amp

Adam Jones use many big, heavy amps which are too heavy for the budget guitarist. Marshall heads, Sunn Heads and Mesa Boogies are just the beginning of all the big heavy amps he uses. While these amps are very cool, and great for achieving rock sounds, they weigh quite alot and cost even more. For the guitarist on a budget, I recommend the Barcelona 10 Watt Amp



Barcelona 10 Watt Electric Guitar Combo Amp

It has everything you’d ever need to achieve a Tool sound, such as Volume knob, treble Knob and Bass knob. And at the low cheap cost of $39.99 it’s a no brainer to buy this one!

 

Pedal

Adam Jones uses a plethora of rock effects to achieve his rock sounds. From Phasers, Flangers, Delays, Wahs and more! He even uses a talkbox, like Peter Frampton did in the olden days. BUt how can you achieve these essential tones on a budget? If you bought all the pedals Adam had they could cost up to $500 which is too much money.



Caline USA CP-32 Clear Veil PINK Overdrive Fuzz Guitar Effect Pedal

I reccomend the Caline USA CP-32 Clear Veil PINK Overdrive Fuzz Guitar Effect Pedal. At $29, it gives you everything you need to achieve a rock sound, which Tool would use. It has a very nice Pink color.

Additional Tools

Adam Jones been rated the 75th Greatest Guitarist of all time by the Rolling Stone. This is no easy feat. If you want to get the tone of Rock Legends it is reccomended that you subscribe to Rolling STone (not to be confused with the band of the same name).

Image result for rolling stone magazine

Do your research by reeading Rolling Stone to fiure out what maeks the rock music you love great!

Conclusion

Sounding like Tool and Adam Jones is not easy, but with this guide it just got a whole lot easier!


The Easy Way to Make Money on Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing

The EasyWay to Make Money on Amazon Kindle Direct Publish

by Stephanie Phillips

 

 

 



Dedication

This book is dedicated to my husband Jack, who first told me about Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing. Without him telling me about it, this book would not be possible.

 

 



 

  1. Introduction

You’ve been looking for ways to monetize your passion for writing for years and nothing has worked? Tell me about it. I was in that boat for two decades. For years I tried to make it as a Freelance Writer, Novelist, Poet, Journalist and Biographer. My only dream in life was to make a decent wage by expressing myself in the written word. Not too much to ask, right? The unfortunate truth is that it was nearly impossible. That is, until Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing gave me the ability to reach millions of avid readers and start making a decent wage. After countless editors watered down my works and made them unreadable I was finally able to take matters into my own hands and reach my audience. AND YOU CAN TOO! Read on to find out how.

 

 




Chapter 1 Jack of all Trades

“Stephanie? Stephanie? Are you there??”

I heard the voice of my literary agent, Sally Jenkins, on the other end of the phone. She had just informed me of another rejection from Penguin. I was frozen and couldn’t respond. I hung up the phone and ran to the freezer to find consolation from my two new best friends, Ben and Jerry. I needed to stop eating this sugary poison. I had gained 70 pounds from the stress of trying to make money as a writer. My face was covered with pimples and I had near-constant diarrhea. My husband Jack walked in “Chunky Monkey again? What happened this time?”

“Penguin…”

“Well, they’re no damn good if they don’t want to publish your book babe, it’s a modern day masterpiece!”

 

While I appreciated Jack’s sentiment, I couldn’t help but feel like I was a lowlife who was no good at writing. I resented Jack for the supportive tone he took, when I felt he didn’t mean it.

 

We had been married for 7 years at that point. Our relationship was polyamorous and I had 4 other partners at the time, Simeon, James, and two other men named Jack. All of them had substance abuse issues. Whiskey, Pills, Weed, you name it.

“Shit! I’m late for my date with Jack! I need to get changed into something to look hot!” I screamed.

“Which Jack?” said Jack, my husband.

“Jack Jones” I said.

“Is that Jack Beer? or JackPot” said Jack.

I didn’t appreciate the way he was demeaning the drug and alcohol problems my other partners had.

“FUCK YOU JACK!”

I stormed off. I heard him chasing after me…”Why don’t you try self publishing on Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing?” I heard him say in the distance.

 

 




Chapter 2 Getting my Shit together

I had written 56 novels, 12 novellas, three plays, and thousands of poems in my lifetime. Not a single one had even seen the light of day. I had been laughed out of countless literary agents’  offices. I was broke as a joke and my husband Jack was supporting me because I was destitute. He worked as an investment banker at a leading global investment banking, securities and investment management firm. Because of his business ties, he had heard about Kindle Direct Publishing…a way to self-publish and make money on your writings.

As I dined at Olive Garden with Jack (not my husband, but one of my partners) I thought about what Jack (my husband) had said to me as I left.

“You look hot tonight” said Jack (my poly partner, not husband).

“Look, Jack…you’re nice and all, but I have to go home and do something..I’ll call you later.”

I called an UberXL and went straight home to my computer.

 

 




Chapter 3: Signing Up and Uploading my books

I immediately went to Amazon.com and navigated to the part where you can do Kindle Direct Publishing. “Hm, this seems easy!” I thought to myself. I uploaded my first e-book, a biography I had written on British PM Theresa May. I used their little app thing to make a cover for it.
Within minutes, it had uploaded, cover and all! It said that within 72 hours my book would be available for purchase. “Wow, this seems REALLY easy!” I thought to myself. I quickly began uploading my entire bibliography. My novel “Canary in the Coal Mind,” my play “Three Sisters and a Good Wedding,” my Poetry Collection “Reflections” and my Autobiography “Steph: The Stephanie Philllips Story” were all online for purchase within days! The crooked capitalist Montgomery Burns inside of me begin to place his little fingers together and say “excellent.”

 

 




Chapter 4: The Hurdles 

I uploaded my 80 books and waited patiently. I was so excited I couldn’t eat. After four days the sales began to trickle in, and I began to lose the weight I had put on. I thought it would be rough to sell books, but it was so easy! “Thanks Jack!” I said to my hubby. He kissed me on the cheek and we had sex.

What I didn’t realize was that it would be so hard to be making so much money doing what I love. I had limitless amounts of money to spend on things and I just didn’t know where to begin. First thing I bought was a lamborghini.

 

 




Chapter 5: Know Your Audience

They Key to making your money on Kindle Direct Publishing is writing good books. If your book is good, people will find it and love it. THis may take time, up to three weeks. Once the ball is rolling the money will be rolling in as well. Know your audience…if you’re writing a book about how to quit drinking, tell your alcoholic friends about it. In fact, I tried this. I wrote a book about how to stop drinking and doing drugs and shared it with my polyamorous Partners, Jack, Jack, Simeon and James. They each bought a copy for $2.99…quick and easy profit…the book only took me five minutes to write! Simeon said it helped him to stop smoking as well! Bonus!

 

 




Chapter 6: Work Fast

The Kindle Direct Publishing environment is fast-paced…and slow pokes will most certainly lose the race. You need to be writing good books FAST! But that’s easier done than said. DOn’t think too hard, just freely express yourself in the typing software of your preference, and upload! If you’re feeling dry and out of inspiration, just copy and paste a wikipedia article into a word doc and upload that!

 

 




Chapter 7: The End

I’ve lost over 80 pounds. I feel great, look great and am making buku bucks on my Kindle Books. I have a great emotional life and sex life with Jack and my 4 polyamourous partners. It was really easy and I wanted to share how easy it is with all of the other people in the word. I hope this guide will help you. I wrote it in 18 minutes flat and plan to make thousands on it. Thanks Jack!



How to Sound Like Boy Pablo using Guitars & Pedals

Boy Toy

Image result for boy pablo



So, you want to sound like Boy Pablo on guitar and pedals but don’t know how to do so? This guide is all you need to get an in-depth look at achieving an authentic Boy Pablo sound to your music. Boy Pablo, from Norway, made very good and cool music using their very expensive array of guitars, studio equipment and pedals to achieve their polished music sound. Unfortunately this equipment could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and would not be accesible to the guitarist on a budget. This guide will show you how to achieve Boy Pablo sounds without breaking the bank.


Get the Guitar!

Image result for vox mark iii

In the video for the song “Everytime,” the Norwegian played a Vox Mark III little teardrop guitar, which can cost hundreds of dollars and is too expensive. The good news is, all guitars sound the same. So why not go for something a little more affordable?

Smartxchoices Acoustic Guitar for Starter Beginner Music Lovers Kids Gift 38" 6-String Folk Beginners Acoustic Guitar With Gig bag, Strap, Tuner and Pick (Blue)

I reccomend the Smartxchoices Acoustic Guitar for Starter Beginner Music Lovers Kids Gift 38″ 6-String Folk Beginners Acoustic Guitar With Gig bag, Strap, Tuner and Pick (Blue)This is the perfect tool for achieving a Boy Pablo sound. As an added bonus, it is blue, just like the one he used the Everytime video. It also conveniently includes a Pitch Pipe to make sure the guitar is tune, which is necessary to play songs such as Boy Pablo ones.


Pedals

What pedals does Boy Pablo use to achieve the sounds on his debut EP Toy Pablo and when he plays live? That’s a great question!

Image result for guitar pedals

Some of the pedals he might have used include the Big Muff Fuzz, the Death by Audio Fuzz War, a Boss DS-1 Distortion and a Boss Angry Charlie, a Keeley Bubbletron, a Chase Bliss Wombtone Phaser and many others that he might have used.

Image result for ammoon pockrock

THese pedals are too expensive for the guitarist on a budget and could cost hundreds of dollars. A better solution is to just get an all-in-one box such as the ammoon PockRock Guitar Multi-effects Processor Effect Pedal. It features many sound in the box, all of which can be used to achieve the Boy Pablo sounds. It only costs $32 which is a very cheap price for a unit with so many sounds in the box.



Norwegian Wood

Because Pablo is from Norway he and the band probably eat a good amount of traditional Norwegian cuisine, so you should do so as well to get the full Boy Pablo experience. Why not get the Smoked Salmon Fillet Marquis Cut, From Norway – Approx. 1.3 – 2.2 Lbs?

It is a very tasty and delicious Norwegian classic that Boy Pablo probably also consumes.


Record your progress

In order to record the Boy Pablo styloe of music you will be making with this Boy Pablo gear, you need to have some gear for that. I reccomend getting the Korg D-1200 Digital Audio Multi Track Recorder. 

Korg D-1200 Digital Audio Multi Track Recorder

It conveniently records directly to blank CD-Rs so you don’t need to buy any non-standard storage devices such as CF cards. It also is a great way to record Boy Pablo style music!


Conclusion

It’s not easy to sound like Boy Pablo, but with this guide, it just got a whole lot easier.









Connan Mockasin’s Guitar Pedals and Rig: How to Sound like Connan Mockasin (on a budget)

Connan’s Quirky Contraptions

Image result for connan mockasin

Connan Mockasin, an Australian person, is a great music performer with a growing fanbase of people listening to his music. The fact that he has over 82,000 Likes on his Facebook page proves that he’s not only popular, but also very good, in the opinion of many people. He used many different pedals on his guitar to create the unique sound that he made. And with the recent announcement of his new Jassby album, we can look forward to hearing more of those pedals and guitars in a recorded medium. But how can you achieve a Connan Mockasin sound on your guitar? Read on to find out how you can do so!


Guitar STar

Connan MOckasin is known to use many different funny looking guitars such as a 64’s Silvertone and a Fedner STratocaster, which some people thought were cool. These are very expensive guitars which the guitarist on a budget cannot afford (because they cost too much).

Some of those cool guitars were featured in his new Jassbusters music video, “Conn Con was Impatient.”

So how can you achieve those unique Connan MOckasin-style tones without breaking the bank? The ones featured in this video could cost upward of $5000 and are simply not affordable. Because of Connan Mockasin’s success he is wealthy and can afford instruments of any price.

The good news it that all guitars sound the same and the only real difference is in how they look. So why not try out the Davison Blue Guitar?

Image result for davison red guitar

While it doesn’t look as cool as some of Connan’s guitars, it still looks very cool, and is perfect for achieving a Connan Mockasin style of tone. It’s also quite cheap, and therefore cannot be beat!



Theft and Drug Pedaling

Connan MOckasin uses many very cool pedals to achieve his silky and unique guitar tone. TO afford them, the normal person would need to steal or sell drugs. Fortunately there are some cheaper alternatives that will get you the same results.

Image result for ehx pog

Connan is known to use a Electro-Harmonix POG II Polyphonic Octave Generator. While this sounds like quite a mouthful it’s actually quite simple. It makes octave sounds, such as one octave UP or one octave DOWN. Unfortunately this pedal is very big and costs over $300.



Portable Acoustic Guitar String Pitch Pipe Six Tones Tuning Tuner

THe good news is you can bypass this pedal entirely and still achieve the Mockasin Sound! The Davison Guitar comes with a Pitch Pipe which you can use to tune your guitar. Just tune it one octave up or one octave down for the same results that a POG will provide. Keep it in your pocket so you can tune up or down an octave in-between songs.

Image result for boss ce-2

Another signature of Connan’s tone is Chorus, which he achieve using the Boss CE-2. This is a vintage (old) pedal which costs way too much money and all it does is double the guitar sound to make it sound like 2 guitars are playing. Fortunately there’s a budget alternative.

The Donner Multi Guitar Effect Pedal Alpha Cruncher 3 Type Effects is an amazing multi-effects pedal that includes chorus, along with distortion and delay. This means that in addition to the awesome chorus you are getting 2 more free effects, both of which can be used to achieve a Connan Mockasin sound!



Drop some pounds

Like many other of the coolest musicians, Connan Mockasin is very thin. In order to sound like him, you need to feel like him and you should also get skinny like he is. This can easily be achieved with Health Plus Super Colon Cleanse tablets. This one-of-a-kind formula clears out the compacted fecal matter that is trapped in your colon. Getting rid of this compacted feces can help you to lose up to 20 pounds! There’s no reason to live with hard and compacted feces that is just adding to your pound count.

Image result for impacted feces

Look at all of this compacted fecal matter. It is grotesque and painful…and it’s the main reason you continue to be overweight! So be more like Connan by clearing out this filth using the HealthPlus SUper Colon Cleanse tablets!



Conclusion

Sounding like Connan Mockasin is no easy task but using the tips in this article, it just got a whole lot easier.








How to Sound like Kurt Vile & The Violators Using Guitars and Pedals (on a budget)

Rank and Vile

Image result for kurt vile loading zones



In the olden days, Kurt Weil composed music for the plays of Bertolt Brecht. Sometime later,  Kurt Vile hit the scene. While his name is pronounced the same way, and his music also sounds old-timey, it’s actually quite different.

The Philadelphia native’s unique blend of country sounding guitars and a southern singing accent brought the deep south to Philly and people loved him for it. Along with his epic and awesome curly locks, the cool guitars he and his Violators used to achieve their signature country tones are the stuff of legend. Many folks want to sound like Kurt, but how can you do it, especially on a budget?

Would you like your guitar Spicy or Vile’d?

Kurt just released his new song  “Loading Zones” and guitarists the world over are lining up to find out how they can achieve his unique tone.

The answer is that Kurt Vile plays his diddling notes on many different guitars, all of which are expensive to buy. The guitarist on a budget cannot afford his vintage (old) Fender guitars, which even though they are old and dirtier than a new guitar, cost much, much more. The good news is that all guitars sound exactly the same, so you don’t have to pay a ton of money to get a cool sounding guitar.



I recommend the Best Choice Beginner Guitar Kit which includes everything you need to get started, including a strap and pitch pipe for $34.99. It looks rather new and clean, which is not really the style of guitar Kurt would play, but that can be fixed easily by tossing the guitar around, hitting it against stuff and putting dirt in it.

Amp

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Kurt Vile plays a vintage (old) amp. In order to achieve this I reccomend looking in Pawnshops or Craigslist for old dirty amps to match the style of the Amps he has.


Pedalboards of the Stars

Kurt Vile’s pedalboard is very big and full of many different pedals of ddifferent colors and shapes.

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He uses a combination of new and vintage pedals. While these pedals are essential in achieving the Kurt Vile tone, they are extremely expensive and cost prohibitive to purchase for the guitarist on a budget.



Instead of spending all your money on all those pedals, why not just get a ammoon PockRock Guitar Multi-effects Processor Effect Pedal. FOr the cheap low price of $32.99 it features many pedal sounds in the box, at a very high and good quality. Also it has a drum machine inside the box so you can fire the drummer and get the Kurt Vile & The Violators Drum Sounds using the drum machine in the box. 

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The Look

To sound like Kurt VIle you should also dress like him. While you could go to Urban Outfitters to buy a flannel shirt that looks worn, why not just order one off amazon? At $10, you cannot beat the great price.

Legendary Whitetails Buck Camp Flannels Homestead Plaid Large



If it looks too new, just drag it through the dirt a few times and then try it out. You will be looking (and sounding) like Kurt Vile in no time at all!

 

Conclusion

Kurt Vile’s sound is hard to acheive, but using this article, it got alot easier.





























How to Sound like Weezer using pedals (on a budget)

Emo Music Band

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So you want to be the bigshot and sound like Weezer, the Emo band? Doing so is not as easy as you think. Guitarist River Como, Guitarist Brian Bell and Bassist Scott Shriner are musicians  and achieving their guitar and bass tones is not an easy task, however this article will show the musician on a budget how you can achieve their tones.

Guitar

If you want to play songs such as Hashpipe or others, the first step is the guitars. Even though they are not that famous or good, The members of the Weezer are very wealthy from their success and can afford all of the most expensive instruments ever made. River and Brian play very expensive guitars from Fender and Gibson, which are too expensive to afford. Scott Shriner plays basses from Fender and Gibson, which are also incredibly expensive and not realistic to purchase.



But don’t worry. The truth is that all guitars sound exactly the same. The only difference is in their looks. Instead of a Gibson or Fender, why not try out this Davison Black Guitar from Amazon? It is great for achieving emo-style Weezer tones, and has a great color and look.

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It is a very cool looking instrument and sounds great. If you decide you’d want to play bass like Scott Shriner, just tune the strings down to the bass notes using the included tuning pipe.

Amps

The Davison Black Guitar includes a carrying bag, and also an amp.

The Weezer people play very heavy expensive amps such as Marshall, Sunn and more. These are too big, loud and heavy for the budget guitarist. The included 5w amp with the Davison sounds just as good, and for the cheap low price it’s offered at  and the low weight it weighs, how can you beat it?




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Pedal Papas

Weezer people are known to play many expensive pedals. River plays the Rat distortion and Crybaby Wah. Brian Bell plays the Ibanez Tube Screamer and EHX Holy Grail. Scott Shriner plays the Voodoo Labs Power Supply.

These are all very expensive pedals that will cost an arm and a leg to purchase. Luckily there are other options, such as the  ammoon PockRock Guitar Multi-effects Processor. It costs $32.99 and is basically just Weezer sounds in a box, and many of them, including distortion (rock sound) and modulation (other sounds) and delay (echo sounds).

It also includes a built in drum machine, which will play the Weezer-style beats so you don’t need a drummer.


Add-Ons

The rockers in  Weezer are getting old, so they probably snore and have Sleep Apnea. For this reason, it’s reccomended that you get a CPAP machine, to feel more like them. The name Weezer is most likely related to the Wheezing affliction associated with those that suffer from Sleep Apnea.

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Why not try this Philips Respironics Dream Station? It is a great entry level CPAP and paid for by most reputable insurance companies.

Conclusion

Sounding like Weezer is no easy task, but using this guide, it just got a whole lot easier.

How to Sound like Phish using Guitars and Pedals (Without Breaking the Bank)

Big Phish to Fry

So you want to be a big-shot and achieve tone like Trey Anastasio from the Phish band? That’s no easy task! Every Phan wants to be like Trey and achieve his level of tone. With his extensive array of rare and custom guitars, pedals and amps, purchasing all of Trey’s gear could cost hundreds of dollars or more! For the guitarist and Phish or jam enthusiast on a budget this is too hefty a load of money to spend. So how can you sound like Phish and Trey for cheaper? Read on to find out!


Phish-Sticks

The guitars Trey uses are known as Phish Sticks because of their long shape and the fact that they are being used by the Phish band. It is a pun on Fishsticks, the popular meal for children. Many of Trey’s Phish Sticks are custom made, meaning a wood builder puts it together for him specially, meaning it’s a very rare and one-of-a-kind item. So even if you wanted to buy a specific Phish Stick, it’s would not be possible. The good news is that all guitars sound the same. For the guitarist on a budget, I reccomend the Davison black guitar.



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It looks cool, and has all the great rock and Phish energy of a more expensive guitar. 



 

Phish Tank

Amps, or Phish Tanks, as they’re called in the Phish community, are the big black boxes that transmit the sound of the electric guitar out into the audience. They have a square or rectangular shape, much like a Fish Tank, so it’s a pun, much like Phish Stick. For doing a very big shows at places like Madison Square Garden, Trey needs very big Phish Tanks to make this happen.

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Trey uses very big expensive amps, such as a Fender Deluxe Reverb 65 and a  Swart ST-6V6se Space Tone Tube Amplifier. These are too expensive for the guitarist on a budget. Instead why not use the Mooer Little Tank D15?

It has Tank in the name, so it truly deserves the honor of being a Phish Tank. And for the low price it’s being offered for on Amazon, how could you refuse that item? Also it’s a littler one that what Trey has so it will be easy to carry around.


Trey’s Pedal

Trey Anastasio, the guitarist of Phish, is known to use a plethora of pedals. His dazzling array of pedals includes a Tube Screamer, a Whammy, a Ross Compressor and a tuner. THese are all very rare and expensive to purchase or own so doing that on a budget would be impossible.

 

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Why not instead go for the  ammoon PockRock Guitar Multi-effects Processor Effect Pedal 15 Effect Types 40 Drum Rhythms Tuning Function with Power Adapter Not only will it provide you with many guitar effects to help achieve the Phish tone, it also features a Drum Machine which can be used to create John FIshman style beats



 

Conclusion

Sounding like Phish aint easy. But it just got a whole lot easier with this guide.

How to Sound Like Joy Division on Guitar using Pedals and Guitars (On A Budget)

Ode to Joy

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Joy Division was one of the coolest and best bands from the old times. They came from the UK and talked with British voices. Their dark music was very good and many people enjoyed the goth sounds they made. Joy Division inspired many dark goth rockers to come such as Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie and countless others. Very unique to their style was the pedals, effects and guitars that they used to achieve their goth sound. But those gears are expensive and too much money for a normal person to buy.

A History of Dark Goth Music

Joy Division featured the guitar works of Ian Curtis, Bernard Summer, Peter Hook and Stephen Morris. They were all skinny, which is a big part of many band’s appearances, and Ian Curtis was the most skinny of them. He had a mean looking face that was cool and scary to all the goth listeners who were listening to their dark lyrics.



As you can see in this video of Transmission he has a very low and scary voice. But his weird face and voice were only part of what made them such a good band. It was also the guitar and bass sounds.  So how did those guys play those music like that?



 

Get a Guitar!

The first step to creating any kind of rock music, including Goth Rock, like Joy Division, is to get a guitar. It’s a classic instrument that is a symbol of rock n’ roll and when you have one you can create great Joy Division style sounds. Joy Division always used the most expensive and rare guitars such as Gibson SG and others in their performances, which is not possible for most people to acquire. However, the good news is that most guitars sound the same so why not get this one?



The Crescent Acoustic Guitar sells for $36 on Amazon and is the first step for making rock sounds such as what Joy Division would have made.


Pedals

Joy Division used many cool pedals in their rig such as the ELectro-Harmonix clone theory, which is a pedal that makes chorus and vibrato. These are very cool effects, but that pedal cost way too much money to buy.

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We reccomend the DOnner Tutti pedal. It’s $35 which is very cheap and when you plug the Crescent guitar into it you will start to sound like Joy Division because it is also that same type of chorus effect.


Clothings

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Joy Division was known to look cool so definitely buy some cool clothing items if you are going for  Gothic JOy Division style of dress or music.  I reccomend the  Cimeiee Punk Gothic Women Leggings Hollow Out Five-Pointed Star Pentagram Pencil Pants , which you can buy on Amazon for a very cheap price.

Conclusion

Joy Division’s gothic tones are hard to achieve, but now it just got easier with this easy how-to guide.