The EasyWay to Make Money on Amazon Kindle Direct Publish
by Stephanie Phillips
This book is dedicated to my husband Jack, who first told me about Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing. Without him telling me about it, this book would not be possible.
You’ve been looking for ways to monetize your passion for writing for years and nothing has worked? Tell me about it. I was in that boat for two decades. For years I tried to make it as a Freelance Writer, Novelist, Poet, Journalist and Biographer. My only dream in life was to make a decent wage by expressing myself in the written word. Not too much to ask, right? The unfortunate truth is that it was nearly impossible. That is, until Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing gave me the ability to reach millions of avid readers and start making a decent wage. After countless editors watered down my works and made them unreadable I was finally able to take matters into my own hands and reach my audience. AND YOU CAN TOO! Read on to find out how.
Chapter 1 Jack of all Trades
“Stephanie? Stephanie? Are you there??”
I heard the voice of my literary agent, Sally Jenkins, on the other end of the phone. She had just informed me of another rejection from Penguin. I was frozen and couldn’t respond. I hung up the phone and ran to the freezer to find consolation from my two new best friends, Ben and Jerry. I needed to stop eating this sugary poison. I had gained 70 pounds from the stress of trying to make money as a writer. My face was covered with pimples and I had near-constant diarrhea. My husband Jack walked in “Chunky Monkey again? What happened this time?”
“Well, they’re no damn good if they don’t want to publish your book babe, it’s a modern day masterpiece!”
While I appreciated Jack’s sentiment, I couldn’t help but feel like I was a lowlife who was no good at writing. I resented Jack for the supportive tone he took, when I felt he didn’t mean it.
We had been married for 7 years at that point. Our relationship was polyamorous and I had 4 other partners at the time, Simeon, James, and two other men named Jack. All of them had substance abuse issues. Whiskey, Pills, Weed, you name it.
“Shit! I’m late for my date with Jack! I need to get changed into something to look hot!” I screamed.
“Which Jack?” said Jack, my husband.
“Jack Jones” I said.
“Is that Jack Beer? or JackPot” said Jack.
I didn’t appreciate the way he was demeaning the drug and alcohol problems my other partners had.
“FUCK YOU JACK!”
I stormed off. I heard him chasing after me…”Why don’t you try self publishing on Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing?” I heard him say in the distance.
Chapter 2 Getting my Shit together
I had written 56 novels, 12 novellas, three plays, and thousands of poems in my lifetime. Not a single one had even seen the light of day. I had been laughed out of countless literary agents’ offices. I was broke as a joke and my husband Jack was supporting me because I was destitute. He worked as an investment banker at a leading global investment banking, securities and investment management firm. Because of his business ties, he had heard about Kindle Direct Publishing…a way to self-publish and make money on your writings.
As I dined at Olive Garden with Jack (not my husband, but one of my partners) I thought about what Jack (my husband) had said to me as I left.
“You look hot tonight” said Jack (my poly partner, not husband).
“Look, Jack…you’re nice and all, but I have to go home and do something..I’ll call you later.”
I called an UberXL and went straight home to my computer.
Chapter 3: Signing Up and Uploading my books
I immediately went to Amazon.com and navigated to the part where you can do Kindle Direct Publishing. “Hm, this seems easy!” I thought to myself. I uploaded my first e-book, a biography I had written on British PM Theresa May. I used their little app thing to make a cover for it.
Within minutes, it had uploaded, cover and all! It said that within 72 hours my book would be available for purchase. “Wow, this seems REALLY easy!” I thought to myself. I quickly began uploading my entire bibliography. My novel “Canary in the Coal Mind,” my play “Three Sisters and a Good Wedding,” my Poetry Collection “Reflections” and my Autobiography “Steph: The Stephanie Philllips Story” were all online for purchase within days! The crooked capitalist Montgomery Burns inside of me begin to place his little fingers together and say “excellent.”
Chapter 4: The Hurdles
I uploaded my 80 books and waited patiently. I was so excited I couldn’t eat. After four days the sales began to trickle in, and I began to lose the weight I had put on. I thought it would be rough to sell books, but it was so easy! “Thanks Jack!” I said to my hubby. He kissed me on the cheek and we had sex.
What I didn’t realize was that it would be so hard to be making so much money doing what I love. I had limitless amounts of money to spend on things and I just didn’t know where to begin. First thing I bought was a lamborghini.
Chapter 5: Know Your Audience
They Key to making your money on Kindle Direct Publishing is writing good books. If your book is good, people will find it and love it. THis may take time, up to three weeks. Once the ball is rolling the money will be rolling in as well. Know your audience…if you’re writing a book about how to quit drinking, tell your alcoholic friends about it. In fact, I tried this. I wrote a book about how to stop drinking and doing drugs and shared it with my polyamorous Partners, Jack, Jack, Simeon and James. They each bought a copy for $2.99…quick and easy profit…the book only took me five minutes to write! Simeon said it helped him to stop smoking as well! Bonus!
Chapter 6: Work Fast
The Kindle Direct Publishing environment is fast-paced…and slow pokes will most certainly lose the race. You need to be writing good books FAST! But that’s easier done than said. DOn’t think too hard, just freely express yourself in the typing software of your preference, and upload! If you’re feeling dry and out of inspiration, just copy and paste a wikipedia article into a word doc and upload that!
Chapter 7: The End
I’ve lost over 80 pounds. I feel great, look great and am making buku bucks on my Kindle Books. I have a great emotional life and sex life with Jack and my 4 polyamourous partners. It was really easy and I wanted to share how easy it is with all of the other people in the word. I hope this guide will help you. I wrote it in 18 minutes flat and plan to make thousands on it. Thanks Jack!