Fox News Erotica: Greg Gutfeld and Jesse Watters’ Intimate Encounter

Top That: Greg Gutfeld vs. Jesse Watters - YouTube

It was a mild Fall day. October 7, 2020. Beautiful weather in New York City. A cool breeze. Perfect. It was just under a month before the big election of 2020 and later that night Kamala Harris would debate Mike Pence. No one could deny that it was an exciting day for the folks at Fox News, particularly the hosts of The Five. 


At 3:15 pm Jesse Watters stepped into Fox News Studios in Midtown Manhattan. He walked into his Green Room to relax before the evening’s taping. Episodes of The Five were taped at 5pm. They also had five hosts. It was a clever name for the show.

Jesse was already tingling with excitement thinking about how he’d critique Kamala Harris, exposing her radical leftist agenda ahead of the debate tonight. Jesse was proud of his accomplishments at Fox News and dreamed of a long and successful television career there. He looked in the mirror. “That’s a handsome face!” he thought to himself. 


He heard a knock at the door. Rare. People didn’t often visit him in his green room, especially on an important day like today (the VP debates). “Who is it?” said Jesse. “It’s me! Greg!” Jesse instantly recognized it as the voice of The Five co-host Greg Gutfeld. He’d always liked Greg’s snarky and rebellious sensibility. “Come in.”Greg entered nervously.  “Hey man” said Greg. He shut the door behind him and locked it. Odd, thought Jesse. 


“I wanted to talk to you about something Jesse.” Greg was significantly shorter than Jesse and their eyes were at approximately the same level when Greg was standing and Jesse was seated. “Ever since this Coronavirus stuff… it’s been so shitty having to sit so far away from each other. Social distancing is such bullcrap. I miss sitting right next to you when we’re taping.”

“Greg, I…I don’t know what to say.”

“Your Philly accent is cute, Jessse. Do you catch my drift?”

“I don’t know Greg…look…I gotta get ready for tonight’s show.”

“Let me cut right to the chase Jesse. You’re sexy as hell. I want to fuck you so bad. Your tan, your hair, everything about you just drives me crazy!”

Jesse felt an odd tingle in his loin. “I must just be excited about covering the debate..this tingling can’t have anything to do with what Greg just said” he thought to himself. He found himself in an awkward silence.


“You don’t have to say anything, Jesse. Just kiss me.” 

The tingling Jesse felt was rapidly metamorphosing into a full blown erection. The bulge in his suit pants was noticeable. He had no idea how to react. 


“Greg, look brother…I’m not gay…I’m recently married.”

“I can see how hard you are, Jesse.””I’m just not comfortable with this Greg.”

“Oh come on, Jesse…your commentaries on Joe Biden’s propensity to capitulate to the radical left are spot on. I just love your style. You’re so sexy when you talk about Trump’s rebelliousness.”


“Look, Greg, your commentaries are fucking great too. When you were making fun of Nancy Pelosi’s ice cream habit the other day, and talking about the elites drinking Pinot, that was super funny. And I love you as a colleague, but I’m not ready for something like this, something physical.”


“We’ll never know what it feels like if we don’t try it, Jesse.”
Greg was tired of mincing words. He swooped in and locked lips with Jesse, whose first instinct was to resist. But within seconds he felt as if his whole body was melting into Greg’s. They kissed for what seemed like a beautiful eternity. He withdrew and looked into Greg’s eyes. Jesse had been married twice but had never felt what he was feeling at this very moment, staring into those eyes.

“This is love” he thought to himself. It was like he had been shot with cupid’s arrow. He barely had time to think about how profound this feeling was before noticing that Greg’s hand was stroking his large, erect penis. 


“Can I suck you off?” Greg said.Jesse wanted it badly, but he decided to reciprocate the offer instead. “I’d rather blow you first, Greg. I’ve never had a man’s penis in my mouth….but I want yours.

“Greg pulled down his pants. For a man of such short stature, Greg had an impressive member. Jesse got on his knees. He was at eye level with Greg’s nipples. This wouldn’t work, Greg was too short. Jesse lay flat on his stomach and placed Greg’s stiff white cock in his mouth, his chin levitating just above the ground.

“It’s a good thing I’ve been bulking up my neck at the gym lately” he thought to himself.


 It felt incredible to lick Greg’s penis. Greg grabbed Jesse’s hair forcefully and started thrusting. His cock was touching the back of Jesse’s throat. It was rough but Jesse liked it like that. His instinct was to jerk himself off as he sucked Greg but quickly realized he should save himself for the pleasures that Greg’s mouth might soon offer. But suddenly Jesse felt tormented by a twinge of guilt. He was married after all. And while he wasn’t personally offended by homosexuality, it would be a betrayal for his viewers to find out about any of this homosexual activity.


He withdrew Greg’s penis from his mouth. “Bend over, Jesse. I want to go inside you.” said Greg.


Greg, wait. Maybe we should take it slow…I’ve never…and besides, it would be hypocritical considering my public position on Gay Marriage”


“Death to virtue, Jesse! Virtue is just an illusion whose worship causes perpetual suffering, in countless transgressions of true desire.”


“I suppose you’re right Greg, but…”


“But nothing, Jesse! Abandon yourself to pleasure! Pull down your pants.”


Jesse reluctantly stripped nude. “I suspect your sphincter will be tight enough to rip off the head of my penis!” said Greg with mischievous delight. He penetrated Jesse forcefully, before Jesse could resist.


Jesse felt intense pain intermingled with the greatest pleasure he’d ever known. He emitted a high pitched squeal. Greg was breathing heavily. He continued to thrust and within a minute he came inside of Jesse’s virginal rectum.
“That was fantastic, Jess” said Greg. Jesse was out of breath.

“Now it’s your turn, Jesse.” said Greg

Gutfeld bent over and spread his ass cheeks. “Go for it, Jess!” said Greg. Jesse tried to penetrate Greg, but it was difficult and awkward because of Greg’s height.

Jesse got into a squatting position and found the perfect angle with which to penetrate Greg. “Good thing I’ve been working my hamstrings at the gym” he thought to himself.

Jesse penetrated Greg, gently at first. His thrusts became increasingly more forceful. Greg loved it. He was already erect again and jerked himself off as Jesse continued to lovingly fuck him. 


They both came at the same time. They were hot and sweaty. For a moment they just lay on the floor and laughed. “I wonder what Tucker Carlson would say if he found out!” said Jesse. Greg got a kick out of that. “I always thought you had the hots for our co-host Dana Perino” said Greg. “I’m just glad you seem to like me as much as I like you.” Greg pecked Jesse on the cheek. 

Greg looked at his Apple Watch. “It’s 4:05…we’re on in under an hour. I better get ready for tonight’s taping.” Greg got dressed and approached the door. He looked at Jesse. Jesse stared into Greg’s green eyes. “I love you.” said Jesse, softly.Greg chuckled. “Back atcha kid!” he said. He walked out.


That night they had an excellent show. Their commentary was witty and insightful and their on screen rapport was engaging and humorous. Later that night they watched the Vice Presidential Debates with their co-hosts in a Fox News studio lounge.  The Hennessy and Patron flowed freely. Everyone was having a great time. Greg and Jesse didn’t tell anyone about their passionate encounter, but every time they made eye contact they’d both feel a little tingle.