The Miracles of CBD Therapy

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my beautiful wife Stephanie, my healthy happy and fit young son Robert and to the developers at the Apple computer company. Without the use of their iPad and iPhone products, this book very well may never have been written, as its text was composed on those devices exclusively. I’d also like to thank Wikipedia, the website which provided much of the scientific data I have used in this book. In addition, thanks to Amazon and Amazon Kindle for giving me the platform to publish my research. Finally I would like to send my earnest thanks to Dr.Jordan Peterson for his inspirational writings. Presently he is in rehab for addiction to Klonopin and I do wish him the best as his writings and research have laid the groundwork for this book.

Preface

By Jim Sotherby, Bestselling author of CBDopolis: The Ubiquitous Substance that Will Save the World

When Moshe C. Bragge sent me the first draft of the tome you are about to imbibe I was highly skeptical to say the least. I’d never heard of Dr. Bragge, and quite honestly I felt that he was stepping on my toes. CBD research and writing has been my field for years and to have a young upstart try to make CBD their topic felt just plain wrong. I went into the reading of his manuscript with that type of jealous skepticism in mind. But after just a few pages I completely changed my tune. Dr. Bragge’s research is both groundbreaking within the field of Psychology and deeply moving in its emotional honesty and complexity. You, the reader, are in for a real treat with this book. The original manuscript that Dr. Bragge sent me was over 300 pages. I strongly encouraged him to heavily edit the book down to just a few pages of the most important information. My opinion as a medical writer and clinician is that a strong, urgent and brief piece of work will have the greatest effect on society as a whole. Enjoy The Miracles of CBD Therapy.

The Miracles of CBD Therapy

Introduction

Five years ago I was the very picture of dysfunction. My life was falling apart before my eyes and everything seemed hopeless. I had lost the will to live and was on the brink of suicide. I found myself standing at a lake. I was so far gone that I had lost the ability to even feel pain and I was ready to jump. The thought of ending it all filled me with so much relaxation and comfort that I’d enter a revery just thinking about abandoning the hardships of this world. Would I be leaving behind my wife Stephanie and my little boy Robert? Yes. I love my wife and my son, but the pain was too great. Since childhood I’ve suffered from acute anxiety and depression. I’ve been to every shrink in town and been prescribed every medication in the book. I’ve also self medicated with illicit drugs and alcohol for decades. Using drugs and alcohol to solve your problems is like banging your head against a wall to get rid of a headache; it only makes things worse. My daily routine around this time looked something like this: wake up at 10am, hit my bong and take 2 Xanax and 2 Percocet. When the pills started to do their job I’d take a shot or two of Jameson and then call an Uber to work (I was a clinical psychologist at Johns Hopkins, my alma mater). I’d arrive at about noon and sit motionless staring at the screensaver on my desktop trying to escape the pain between cocaine snorting sessions in the bathroom. When lunch time came around at 1:30pm I’d go to the local pub and eat a massive platter of chicken, vegetables,and 4-5 Spiked Seltzers (I was and still am on the Keto diet). I’d return to the office at around 3:30 pm, take a nap, then leave work at 4:30pm to imbibe any drug I could get my hands. I’d go to the local bars and meet other nefarious addicts who would often wind up at my home, much to the chagrin of Stephanie. Wash, rinse, repeat every day for years on end. My cycles of addiction and depravity were more predictable than a romantic comedy. I could only console myself with the fact that I wasn’t overweight, thanks to the Keto diet. 

On that fateful day five years ago, I stood at the lake ready to jump in and drown myself when suddenly I was interrupted by a gaggle of young adults at the other side of the park puffing on what appeared to be marijuana vape. I approached them with the intention of asking for a puff, thinking it mightt be nice to die with a little buzz. “Hey dude, let me get a puff of that weed” I said. “Huh?” the young boy, who couldn’t have been older than 14 responded. “This isn’t weed, this is CBD.”

“CBD? What’s that?” I asked.

“Cannabidiol (CBD) is a phytocannabinoid discovered in 1940. It is one of 113 identified cannabinoids in cannabis plants and accounts for up to 40% of the plant’s extract.[7] In 2018, clinical research on cannabidiol included preliminary studies of anxiety, cognition, movement disorders, and pain.” said the boy.

“Will it get me high?” I said.

“It’s not about that! It’s an effective way to treat anxiety and many other disorders.”

“Let me try that shit” I said to the boy. I rudely pulled the vapor pen out of his hands and took a puff. My life has never been the same since. All of the depression and worry instantly melted away, like a snowman on a warm winter’s day. But unlike the macabre image of a dying snowman, I was filled with a joy and a lust for life the likes of which I had never experienced. Needless to say, I did not kill myslef that fateful day. And it’s all thanks to CBD and to the little boy who shared his vape pen with me, whose name I never did get (If you’re out there, please email me at moshecbraggeMD@yahoo.com and let me know what your name is so that I can edit future editions of this book with that information.)

Read on to find out the who, what, why, where and when of using CBD to change your life!

Chapter One: Drastic Times Call for Drastic Pleasures

Before I talk about the primary subject of this book (CBD), I want to get one thing out of the way. It’s 2019 and while marijuana is becoming increasingly tolerated and easy to obtain in this country it is still the dangerous and potentially life threatening intoxicant that it has always been. In addition to triggering both visual and auditory hallucinations, marijuana can provoke rather intensive paranoia and anxiety. In other words, it’s far from the ‘recreational’ substance that it’s known to be. I’ll go on record now in stating that I strongly oppose the legalization of Marijuana in any form and feel that those who distribute it should be dealt the harshest punishments available under the law. Now, that being said, I must admit that without the efforts of those in the marijuana legalization communities, CBD may never have been legalized. And for that I must give them credit. Because of their tireless efforts, CBD is available for purchase at every gas station, Pharmacy and corner store across this great land (america). But I want to go on record that this book in no way endorses or intends to glamorize the use of marijuana, which is in my opinion one of the most nefarious illicit drugs on the market. There’s a reason why it has been illegal for so many decades and I hope to god that that does not change. I am an MD, and my professional medical opinion is that marijuana is NOT good. 

CBD, on the other hand, is a risk-free and holistic substance that I’ve seen used to better the lives of many people. So what is the difference between marijuana and CBD?

According to www.healthline.com, “Both CBD and THC have the exact same molecular structure: 21 carbon atoms, 30 hydrogen atoms, and 2 oxygen atoms. A slight difference in how the atoms are arranged accounts for the differing effects on your body.” 

In layman’s terms, this means that scientists have taken the atoms, which are very tiny balls that can be arranged to make things, and rearranged them to change the marijuana from a bad illicit substance into a good legal one (CBD). When my colleagues in the medical community initially told me about the CBD, I was highly skeptical. My medical opinion was that I did not think that the atoms could be moved around in such a way, but I was wrong. As it turns out, CBD is truly a miracle cure for all that ails me (and others).

Experiencing the depths of despair and drug addiction and reaching rock bottom are what helped guide me to the CBD, via the nameless boy mentioned in the book’s preface. But the moment I took my first hit of CBD things changed. I had focus. I had energy. The anxiety I had experienced for so many years was gone. It was like I had been living my life in a cave and CBD was the proverbial ‘light at the end of the tunnel.’ 

I am a medical professional, which is a stressful job to say the least. The stress of being a Dr. can weigh on a person, but knowing that there is a fat blunt of CBD waiting for me to smoke when I get home helps me get through the day. I like to think about how the CBD smoke will taste on my lips as I smoke it on the couch while little Robert plays video games and Stephanie does the dishes. I also stop at the local vape shop on the way to work each day to get a 35ml bottle of CBD tincture, which I drink throughout the day. If that is not sufficient, I may supplement it with a package of CBD gummies and/or a puff of my CBD pen. This helps regulate my anxiety and stress so that I can do a better job throughout the work day and be the best doctor I can be. 

Chapter Two: What Can CBD do for you?

CBD is most immediately recognized as being an effective treatment for psychological disorders like anxiety and depression. And it most certainly is that. You’re probably asking yourself “can i just puff the CBD vape like Dr. Bragge did and get rid of the problems I have?”

The answer is complex. Yes, smoking CBD will instantly relieve most of your problems and irrational worries. But it will not make everything go away magically. Our neuroses stem from deep seated issues that are difficult to untangle. Dr Sigmund Freud realized that many of the problems we have are the ones from childhood, and it’s hard to go back in time to erase those problems from our past. We are humans; very intelligent and complex animals (much like dogs, who also use CBD–more on that later). In order to unravel the complex web of emotions, CBD treatment is recommended to be supplemented with intensive psychotherapy. For example, if you get ahold of some powerful CBD you will feel good. But if you combine CBD with therapy, you will feel great, and be able to get rid of many of the problems you have. You could also use a powerful psychological tool like EST (Electro Shock Therapy) in combination with CBD to get a very large amount of therapy at once!

Many people cannot afford therapy, as it is quite expensive. In this case, I recommend purchasing Dr. Jordan Peterson’s book 12 Rules of Life. This was the psychology book that inspired me to go to med school and get my doctorate in psychology. Dr. Peterson’s book is a guide for how to be a good person and do things the right way. Supplemented with CBD, it is a pipe bomb of explosive rationality and functionality.  12 Rules in Life  is “The book is divided into chapters with each title representing a specific rule for life explained in an essay” according to Wikipedia. The chapters are all good and deal with a different rules of life. I have devised the ultimate plan for reading Dr. Peterson’s book, combining each chapter (or rule) with a different CBD product.

  1. Stand up straight with your shoulders back (MediHaze)
  2. Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping (Ringo’s Gift)
  3. Make friends with people who want the best for you (Charlotte’s Web)
  4. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today (Remedy)
  5. Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them Dancehall
  1. Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world ACDC
  2. Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)  Harlequin
  3. Tell the truth – or, at least, don’t lie Sweet and Sour Widow
  4. Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t Stephen Hawking Kush
  5. Be precise in your speech Cannatonic
  6. Do not bother children when they are skateboarding Sour Tsunami
  7. Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street Pennywise

Pairing these CBD strains with each respective chapter of Dr. Peterson’s masterpiece guarantees a sound mind and will be far cheaper than years of pricey clinical psychotherapy. I recommend mixing up your method of consumption as well. Like, for Rule 1 use a tincture, but for Rule 2 smoke a CBD blunt and for Rule 3 use a vape. You can mix and match however you like. Everyone must find their own path for discovering inner peace. It’s not supposed to be easy–but with CBD it’s a heck of a lot easier than it was before.

CBD for Pets

It’s all the rage these days–pet stores that specialize in CBD treats to calm ‘man’s best friend’–the dog. I personally have mixed feelings about the ethics and efficacy of feeding CBD to animals. Because I use CBD, feeding my animal the same substance disrupts the inherent hierarchical relationship a dog must necessarily have with its master. The dog will begin to think he is as good or better than the human which can lead to dog attacks and bites when they realize they cannot speak or stand on their hind legs like a human can. 

This chart shows a very clear trend that dog attacks and bites are on the rise. These numbers were far lower years ago, and it is no coincidence that the rise in dog bites corresponds precisely with the trend of feeding CBD to pets, especially dogs. If dog is really “man’s best friend” as common parlance would have us believe, why would they be attacking us at such startling rates? The answer is that they WERE our best friends, until we began force feeding them CBD and rapidly dissolving the structure that humans have been developing with dogs for over 500 years.

That said, some animals do well with CBD, and in that case I encourage you to feed it to them.

CBD and Diet

Being healthy and happy is what we all want out of our lives. CBD can help us get there, but we will never be happy if we are fat. Being fat is one of the leading causes of unhappiness among people these days. BMI numbers are through the roof and obesity is an epidemic. We try to treat ourselves using CBD therapy, which is very effective. However, the presence of the notorious “CBD munchies” doesn’t help much in keeping us slim and trim. 

In order to stay fit, trim and attractive, my family and I have been practicing the Keto diet for many years with wonderful results. Dr. Jordan Peterson has taken the Keto one step further and consumes only beef and water and this has cured him of various cancers. He is also very healthy and good looking. Even though Dr. Peterson only eats beef, people respect his medical and philosophical opinions. THe big question is: does he use CBD products?

 It is not common for others in the medical establishment to encourage an alternative diet such as the Keto, but my professional medical opinion is that the Keto is the natural way humans were supposed to live. In our primitive past we did not have access to processed sugars and bags of enriched flour, but rather we would eat the animals we could find and kill. We ate the animals without any seasonings (like Jordan Peterson does).

Jordan Peterson is naturally accustomed to using fewer seasonings and eating less flavorful food, as he is from Canada. The animals our primitive ancestors would hunt included deer and fishes, or in the case of arctic natives, seals and walrus. These dead animals are naturally keto because they do not contain the carbs which make us fat. 

I have written extensively about  the Keto diet in my previous publication Keto for Kids, which is available for purchase on Amazon.com as a Kindle Book. It will help you to avoid the pitfalls that many parents (who are bad) fall into, in letting their child become a fat pig. Slim, healthy and attractive children are one of the finest things in life. When they become fat and grotesque it is unsightly, unhealthy and flat out disgusting. 

The CBD munchies are a real problem, but as long as you munch on Keto friendly snacks like beef liver, beef heart, ground beef or fish, it will not interrupt the Ketosis happening in your body.

CBD and Sexuality

Many people these days are interested in having sexual experiences and engaging in sexual activities, such as coitus. In fact, according to Doctors, Having an active and healthy sex life is critical in maintaing a balanced and good life. How can CBD effect your sex life?

The fact of the matter is, sex on CBD is one of the most profoundly beautiful things I’ve ever experienced. When I make love to my wife Stephanie, I always take 10 puffs of the CBD vape before, during and after. Unfortunately Stephanie does not partake of the CBD and is therefore deeply unhappy and does not enjoy the sexual experiences as much as I do. I have encouraged her time and again to use the CBD regularly. She always claims that it “doesn’t do anything.” My medical diagnosis is that it DOES do something. I am a doctor, and she is not, therefore I know that it works. 

Because I use CBD to regulate my anxiety and depression, I am a well balanced person and am able to have a functional relationship with Stephanie even though she is deeply sad and miserable to be around. When things get really bad, I supplement my CBD intake with several shots of Vodka (which is naturally ketogenic). I do not wish to drink alcohol, but Stephanie’s fragile emotional state forces me to. For the love of God, I wish that she would start taking CBD to become a happier and better person. This would make both of our lives (and the life of our young Robert) so much better. 

CBD and Crime

Because CBD is a legal substance, it is not against the law to carry or sell it, which is one of many reasons why it is very different from marijuana. 

This chart shows that compared to the times when weed was popular (1996) the violent crimes were very high, but now that CBD is popular, the crimes are just getting less and less.

This is great for various reasons, but for me as a medical doctor, it makes my life easier. Because there are fewer violently wounded people coming into my doctor’s office, I can take more time to relax. It is my medical opinion that the decrease in crime rate is correlated precisely with the preponderance of CBD. I look forward to a future where CBD is administered to all people every day. It is not until we implement such policies that crime will be eradicated all together. 

Our society is a very crime infested place. Many people are scared to even leave their homes for fear of being brutally murdered or killed. The criminals out there are the people who are not using CBD. In fact, criminals often use illegal drugs like marijuana. By using illegal drugs, you are breaking the law, and therefore a criminal to begin with. Get the picture?

CBD is legal, so there is nothing wrong with using it, and if you are doing so it does not mean you are a criminal. 

CBD and Religious Experience

Throughout human history people have been using psychoactive chemicals such as LSD, mushrooms, peyote and yage to achieve transcendent spiritual experiences. This has been done through self medication, or guided with a guru or shaman. These hallucinogenic chemicals can lead to profound religious experiences that are otherwise only attainable through prolonged meditation sessions. Religion and ritual are a timeless aspect of human existence and are key to navigating man’s relation to nature and the beyond. The drugs that people typically use to experience revelatory psychedelic trips are highly illegal, and for good reason. They are dangerous and can lead to schizophrenia in those who are predisposed. CBD is not a psychoactive chemical, so it would not be useful for those attempting have a transcendent religious experience.

Faster than a Bird, Faster than a Plane: How to Boost Self Confidence and Feel Like Superman Using CBD

One of the top worst problems facing American’s today is low self-esteem. As a doctor, I see patient after patient utterly crippled by debilitating lack of confidence. One of my favorite analogies is Superman. He’s a very great and confident hero who is strong and has the ability to fly. The only thing that makes him not as good is a green substance called Kryptonite. So CBD is much like kryptonite, in that it is exactly its opposite. Instead of making you not as good, it makes you better…and can even make you as good as SuperMan

I am just a Dr. I’m not a wizard or a saint. But I feel like a mythical strongman when I use CBD. I am Superman when i drip those 4 drops of oil under my tongue and wait for the anxiety to fade and the power to expand. 

There is so much sadness in America today, and suicide rates are at an all time high. Why the suicide hotlines aren’t mandated to send a complimentary bottle of CBD tincture to anyone who calls in is beyond me. Parents: if your children are suicidal I urge you to dose their beverages with CBD and just watch the difference it makes. 

When my little Robert was born he would wake us up at all hours of the night needing to be fed just so he could go back to sleep. Stephanie and I were not getting good sleep and could barely function. We started giving Robert 4-5 drops of CBD every time he’d wake up, and it really did the trick in having him chill out and stop crying. 

Not all heroes wear capes. But in this case, I did feel like Super Man even though I didn’t have a cape on.

Break Up to Make Up: CBD Marriage Counseling

I am happily married to my wife Stephanie and I love her to death. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. She’s beautiful, intelligent and understands who I am deep down inside. It can be difficult for those of us in the medical profession to be honest and open about our feelings. We are inundated by our workload and taught that life is a process dictated by biologies which we are still learning to understand. Feelings don’t enter the equation. With Stephanie, I am able to open up and be honest about my feelings. In other words, I can be me! 

BUt things weren’t always so easy. We have been through many vicious fights and ups and downs. Stephanie can be a very difficult person. She does not like to admit her mistakes, and when rules are established it goes without saying that she will break them. 

As a medical doctor, my diagnosis is that Stephanie is a deeply maligned and troubled person. She’s lucky to have a tolerant, forgiving and financially stable partner like myself. 

At some point about 5 years ago it seemed like divorce was inevitable for us. I was at the height of my addiction to drugs and alcohol. Stephanie was not supportive of me at all. She kept threatening to leave me and telling me to get a job. THese negative threats hurt my already fragile ego even more and forced me down a deeper rabbit hole of depravity. When I took $600 from her purse to fund a 2 night cocaine binge with a female friend, she screamed and cried for almost an hour. She forgave me shortly thereafter, but the histrionic reaction she had made me realize that she was not well. I took it upon myself to get clean so that I could responsibly handle my unstable wife and her various issues. How could I expect to care for another person if I could not adequately care for myself? 

When CBD entered the picture and I got clean, things changed. My marriage to Stephanie is much better now. She doesn’t scream and cry as much. We have learned to give each other distance and space. For example, if our baby Robert is crying and screaming and Stephanie is getting stressed out about it, I will leave the house and go to the vape shop to try some new CBD strains, or maybe even go catch a movie or concert. No point in being around the stress and negativity, as those are signs that Stephanie needs time to herself to tend to the baby.

I couldn’t have come to this realization through traditional science or medicine. I needed to use CBD to find these answers for myself.

Conclusion

In conclusion, CBD has helped me become the person I am today. In addition to reading Dr. Jordan Peterson’s books and listening to his podcast, CBD has shaped my positive and productive outlook on life. The words I have written in this tome are not to be taken lightly and should be read and re-read. For that reason, following this page, the content of the book repeats itself 5 times. It is recommended that readers read this book AT LEAST 5 times (if not more) in order to absorb its full message. 

It is my medical opinion as a Dr. that many people will benefit from the effects of this book and of CBD. Congratulations on reading this book and bettering yourself.

How to Sound like John Frusciante and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers (On a Budget)

Image result for john frusciante

So, you want to sound like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on a budget? Not so easy to do. Not only is their music very difficult to play, the gear John Frusciante and other people in the band use is very expensive to purchase! Even when John Frusiciante wasn’t in the band and the Josh guitarist took his place his gear was very expensive. This can be very disappointing for the up and coming funk-rock player.

Luckily, with this guide, you can learn how to achieve the funk-rock sound of the RHCP band without all the hassle of purchasing an extremely expensive gear rig.

Get a guitar

On RHCP songs such as “Califronication” and “Give it Away” John achieves great tone through the use of his expensive gear such as a Fender Stratocaster and a Vox AC30 amplifier. These items are way too pricey for the guitarist on a budget to afford. Cumulatively these items could cost as much as $600, which is too much money for the guitarist on a budget. Luckily all guitars sound the same. The difference is just in the look of it. So why not go for something a little more affordable?

Best Choice Products 38in Beginner Acoustic Guitar Starter Kit w/ Case, Strap, Digital E-Tuner, Pick, Pitch Pipe, Strings - Black

The Best Choice Products 38in Beginner Guitar has all the features you need to achieve RHCP tones right out of the box, including a gig bag to take to your gigs, and a strap so you can hold the guitar over your body.

And what Fender Strat comes with both a Pitch Pipe and a Digital E-Tuner? None! It is necessary to cross reference the accuracy of your pitch by tuning with your Digital E-Tuner and then checking if the pitch is correct on the pitch pipe. Being in tune is the first step to sounding like John Frusciante on Blood Sugar Sex Magic and other RHCP masterpiece albums.

Amp Time

Let’s face it, rock music is a loud genre. So you’ll need an amp to get loud with, just like John Frusciante would do. But the prices of amps these days will force you to live “Under the Bridge” for months because you will not be able to make your rent payments if you purchase one. Luckily there are some great affordable models available on the market today.

Zoweetek Portable Rechargeable Mini Voice Amplifier with Wired Microphone Headset and Waistband, Supports MP3 Format Audio for Teachers, Singing, Coaches, Training, Presentation, Tour Guide

I can’t say enough good things about this ZoWeeTek Headphone Amp. It is nice way to hear the excellent rock sounds your guitar is making without waking up parents, neighbors and lovers. At the very cheap price of $29, it costs alot less than the John Frusciante amps, but it doesn’t disappoint. In fact, for the price point it is far superior to the overpriced, heavy and loud rigs that John uses.

Red Hot Chilli Pedals

Mr. Frusciante along with Josh, the other guy, use a plethora of extremely cool pedals to achieve the sound that they worked for. This includes Digitech Whammys, Electro Harmonix MicroSynthesizers and many other cool pedals. In fact, if you watch the Rig Rundown video of Josh, he has so many that they are on multiple boards and a British man was hired to go on tour just to manage all the pedals.

While it’s undoubtedly very cool to have such a big pedalboard with so many pedals, it’s impossible to afford for the funk rock guitarist on a budget. In order to make enough money to afford those pedals, you need to already be a famous rock star. But how do you get famous as a rock star without the pedals? Up to now this has been the Catch-22 of budding guitar heroes.

Not anymore!

ammoon PockRock Guitar Multi-effects Processor Effect Pedal 15 Effect Types 40 Drum Rhythms Tuning Function with Power Adapter

We have talked about the ammoon PockRock ad nauseum on this site. Well, sorry to sound like a broken record, but this is the be all and end all of multi-effect pedals. Featuring 5 effect modules, this unit has everything you need to sound like both John Frusciante and Josh. And at $35, it is way cheaper than spending the hundreds of dollars on pedals that John Frusicante does.

Know Your Role

AmazonBasics Adjustable Barbell Lifting Dumbells Weight Set with Case - 38 Pounds, Black

Flea, who plays bass with the Chilli Peppers, is in very good shape even though he is old. He often shows his bare chest and exposes that he has been working out. His cool rock guy tattoos shine nicely on his muscular frame. The same goes for the singer guy, Anthony. John Frusciante (and Josh) probably also work out. They are more thin in build, which is a very sexy look for some people. You’re not going to emulate the Chilli Peppers by being fat or normal. You need to have big muscles or be very skinny. But who has the time or money for a gym membership?

Luckily you can buy these excellent dumbells on Amazon for a very cheap low price and work out at home and at work (take one dumbell to work, leave one at home). Before you know it you will be either very muscular, or very Skinny, just like a real Red Hot Chilli Pepper.

Another great way to lose weight is through the Keto Diet. There are a plethora of great books on how to lose weight fast using this revolutionary fat-based diet that encourages exclusive consumption of bacon, whipped cream and butter. My favorite is Keto for Kids by Dr. Moshe C. Bragge.

Rock Intoxicants

Image result for cbd gummies

It is well known that the Chilli Peppers dabbled in Heroin, a very dangerous substance. It won’t be easy to emulate the Chilli Peppers without an intoxicant, but who wants the hassle of buying illegal heroin and fostering an expensive and unhealthy addiction? That’s why I reccomend CBD Gummies, which can be purchased on Amazon.com! Chew on these neat Gummies before practice, during a gig, or any time you’re just rocking out to become a truly intoxicated Chilli Pepper!

How to Sound Like Weyes Blood (on a Budget)

Blood Sport

Image result for weyes blood
Picture of Weyes Blood artist

So you want to sound like indie rocker Weyes Blood? Achieving her rock sound is no easy feat, as her sounds are very hard to achieve. The core of her rock music tones involves very expensive music gear, such as big pianos, expensive guitars and other very costly items. Sounding like Weyes Blood is not possible for the musician on a budget, however with this guide it is now completely possible!

Acquire a Guitar

Weyes Blood makes her rock music often using a piano. While this may seem like an strange instrument to use for a rock musician, it is actually a very common instrument for many rockers such as Elton John. Don’t forget, her music sounds like it’s old, but it is actually newly made (within the last 5 years). But sometimes she also plays a guitar such as in this video of her performing her one song Andromeda:

So in order to sound like her, you should purchase a guitar. In this video she’s using a very expensive old brown wooden guitar. This item would be too expensive for the guitarist on a budget. Luckily all guitars sound the same and the main difference is in the way they look .

So why not go for this, the Red Mugig Electric Guitar? It is available for a very cheap and affordable price on Amazon and is perfect for achieving the Weyes Blood style of tones, such as the ones on her new album, Titanic.

The Mugig Red guitar even includes a pitch pipe! This is a essential item. Weyes Blood has a very beautiful voice which always stays in tune with the song she is playing. A pitch pipe is necessary to keep your Mugig guitar in tune so the singing won’t get bad. Simply blow on the pipe and find the note that should be there, and then change it on the guitar to be that note.

Image result for pitch pipe
Pitch Pipe

The Piano Man

As Billy Joel said, “Sing us a Song Piano Man.” This lyric is very relevant to the fact that Weyes Blood plays piano and sings on many songs, even though she is a woman and not a man. The only problem is that pianos and keyboards are extremely expensive, and not realistic for the guitarist on a budget to purchase. Thanks to recent technology, it is now possible to make your guitar sound like a piano using guitar pedals.

Image result for ehx mel 9
Electro Harmonix Mel-9 makes your guitar sound like its a old piano

Why not try out the Electro-Harmonix Mel9? It makes the guitar sound like an old keyboard from the 70s. Because WEyes Blood makes old 70s sounding music, it is the perfect tool for achieving Weyes Blood style of music without breaking the bank.

The Voice

Many people have noticed that Weyes Blood, Natalie, has a good voice. While this is a god given talent for her, it is possible to train yourself to also have a good voice. Just get this book, “Sing Like a Star” by Diane Hall. It is available only on Amazon Kindle, so get a Kindle if you want to read it.

The book is great because it contains all the tips on how to sound like Weyes Blood by making your voice good. It is also a Best Seller, so that shows how good the book is.

Conclusion

It is not easy to sound like Weyes Blood, but with this guide, it just got a whole lot easier.

Using Hallucinogenic Drugs to Lose Weight FAST!


Using Hallucinogenic Drugs to Lose Weight FAST!

Expand your Conscious Mind While Contracting Your WaistLine using LSD and Psilocybin Mushrooms!

By Dr. James Belmont




Introduction

 

There I was, lying on the couch watching Flip This House eating a bag of spicy chips and drinking a Coors Light after a hefty meal of BBQ’d Pork Loin and a Burger. “At least the beer is light!” I thought to myself. A High Life is what I aimed to achieve, but it was turning into anything but. My stomach was protruding in a grotesque manner and when I poked my tummy with a stick it jiggled around. Was this really me? What happened to the slim, athletic fellow who had just earned his doctorate in Pharmacology? Where was the handsome chap that took Mary Beth Galloway, the hottest girl at Jamson High, to the prom in 12th grade? I felt like I had lost control of my life, my body, and most tragically, my happiness.

Where did I make this wrong turn? And was there any turning back? The ailments and side effects associated with obesity can be life threatening. I didn’t want to be one of those obese men in a wheelchair at the all-you-can-eat buffet on a Saturday morning. I turned off the TV. I so badly wanted to lose weight, but did not want to put the energy or effort into it. Calorie counting, stepping on the scale, dieting, working out were just simply not compatible with my lifestyle. As a Pharmacologist, I wondered why no one had created a dieting pill that ACTUALLY WORKED. I set out to find a way to lose weight easily, quickly and safely. And you won’t believe what I found out! Read on to find out!

Chapter 1: Psychotropic Thunder- My Catastrophic Fall Down The Rabbit Hole

I had begun drinking copious amounts of alcohol each night, which was not only contributing to my fat gut, but was also a ‘gateway‘ to more drugs. Before I knew it I was smoking pot every night, and even bringing my bong to work to smoke in the parking lot during lunch. I started going to various nightclubs and snorting cocaine, and occasionally smoking opium and other harder substances. I found that just about all of these drugs made me hungry, so I’d invariably wind up at a late night diner scarfing down a Gyro Platter with a Milkshake at 3 am, only to wake up at 6 for work and eat a massive bowl of Lucky Charms. The drugs were making me fat, tired and strung out.

I had always assumed drugs to be the glamorous and sexy acoutrement to wealthy, beautiful high-society folks. Here I was with a 90k a year Pharmacy gig, penniless, fat and abusing every substance I could get my hands on. Mr. Edwards, track coach at Jamson High, would certainly not have approved.

I was at the lowest of the low, until one day someone slipped me an acid tab inside a nightclub. I took it, not knowing what to expect. Three months later I was 80 pounds lighter, feeling great and having fun. The experience literally changed me forever and now I can share with you the secrets to losing weight quickly and easily…and have FUN doing it, using LSD and Psilocybin Mushrooms!




Chapter 2: Get Low!

When using Acid and Mushrooms to lose weight, don’t think of it as “getting high.” Think of it as “getting low,” meaning lowering your weight, as opposed to making it higher.

When I took my first hit of Acid, the world looked completely strange to me. I lost all sense of Space and Time. Seconds felt like hours. I would close my eyes and stare into infinity, realizing that I am but a minuscule micro-organism, inextricably connected to all other beings in the Lego construction we call the universe. I stared into the mirror and saw a dangerously overweight man…but inside the Fat Man I saw a thin man. You see, LSD taught me that we each have an Aura, which has an assigned weight. My aura was thin! It was just a matter of shedding off the pounds from my physical frame and letting my aura shine!

During my first trip I not only saw my thin and fit Aura, I also “hallucinated” my Aura’s visit to a dietician, who confirmed that its spiritual BMI was at a healthy level. The reason I put the word “hallucinate” in quotation marks is that I do not believe that these projections are false…they are completely real, in the spiritual world, but only Hallucinogenic substances allow us to truly see them. I soon realized that in order to lose weight in the physical reality I’d need to get in touch with my thin aura by using LSD and other hallucinogenic drugs.

Simply put, I loved my experience. I started to “Get Low” every day. I would typically take 3-5 acid tabs a day and 1-2 doses of Mushrooms.

Chapter 3: A Brief History of Psychedelics

Psychedelic drugs were first invented and popularized by Albert Hoffman, a Hippie in the 1960s.  Cities, like San Francisco, were places where many of the other hippies would gather and eat the LSD tabs and dance around. They listened to music such as the Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix and Pink Floyd.

LSD was briefly used for medicinal purposes, but this was foolishly abandoned because of societal conservatism. WE are the most obese nation in the world, and yet the most effective tool for shedding pounds remains a Schedule III drug.  Clearly this is because of the junk food lobbies and the unrepentant greed of corporations like the McDonalds Corporation.

Mushrooms, on the other hand, were not human made, but occur naturally in nature. People can use them to “get low,” just like LSD…except they’re not as strong.



Chapter 4: How to Lose Weight Using Psychedelics (Your Daily Plan)

If you’re like me, calorie counting and exercise are two of the most painful-to-hear words in the English language. Luckily, my plan eradicates those annoying aspects of losing weight. The first step to shedding pounds on psychedelics is to eat only Psilocybin Mushrooms for Lunch and Dinner. They are very low in calories, taste great, and will help you “get low.” These mushrooms have a very pleasant, meaty texture, so you can eradicate all that calorie-rich meat from your diet.

If you still feel hungry after eating your mushrooms, just let them settle in your stomach. You will begin to trip in no time, and will certainly forget about eating.

I recommend supplementing the mushrooms with 5-6 tabs of acid taken every few hours of the day. You will be tripping for most of the day and will not be thinking about food. You will be able to see your Aura in the mirror and see the true thin you inside the Fat Boy.



Chapter 5: The Myth of Microdosing

Recently, “Microdosing” LSD has become popular in society. While there is nothing wrong with microdosing,it is not as effective at helping you shed pounds. If you are taking small portions of the drug you won’t “get low” enough to have an effect. In other words, microdosing will help you lose a little bit of weight, but not much. You may lose 5-10 pounds, but not 90 or 100 like I did.




Chapter 6: The Downsides of Losing Weight Using LSD

Many people argue that LSD is a dangerous drug. They couldn’t be wronger. One common argument I hear is that LSD can provoke schizophrenia in people who are genetically predisposed to that disease and therefore more susceptible. In response I ask this, would you rather be skinny and schizophrenic? Or Fat and “sane?” How can you even enjoy sanity if you are fat? The answer is YOU CANNOT! It is absolutely worth the “risk.”
Another concern I frequently hear is that Mushrooms and LSD are both highly illegal and some folks are concerned that they could be arrested, especially for purchasing the large dosages that I’m recommending. THe answer is that YES, these substances are illegal, but with this release of this revolutionary book the medical community and therefore the courts, will understand and look more favorably upon users. So if you do get arrested in the process of using my system, first show a copy of the book to the arresting officer. If that doesn’t work, make sure to present it to the judge in court. Take plenty of before and after pictures to prove that it was an effective method for losing weight.

Chapter 7: The Fat Aura

As I mentioned, when I first took LSD I saw my aura in the mirror, and it was thin as a rail. It gave me the motivation and inspiration to lose weight in the physical realm. Unfortunately, some people do have fat auras. Science cannot yet explain how this works, but some people with fat auras can be skinny in physical reality.  But what can you do if you have a fat aura, and are fat in physical reality? The unfortunate answer is not much. If you enjoy taking psychedlelics, then feel free to continue using them, but they won’t help you lose weight, you fat fuck!




Chapter 8: Staying the Course

Once you begin replacing meals with psilocybin mushrooms and start to lose weight, do not stop! If you feel like it’s too much for you, too intense, just think about how much worse it is to be fat. No one will hire you for a job, and you will likely be denied housing as well. Society finds fat folk to be the lowest of the low. If you want to find good employment and housing, keep eating the psilocybins at every meal and intersperse with acid tabs every few hours. You cannot go wrong using my system. The system is flawless. If you don’t follow the rules, you are the flaw.




Chapter 9: Conclusion

I was a fat and miserable slob. I was addicted to drugs and alcohol. Now I am skinny, looking great and feeling even better, all thanks to Hallucinogenic drugs. My Aura and my Physical Body are harmonious in that they are both thin! Try it out! And please email me to let me know of your results. My email address is AcidDoctor101@yahoo.com.


The Easy Way to Make Money on Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing

The EasyWay to Make Money on Amazon Kindle Direct Publish

by Stephanie Phillips

 

 

 



Dedication

This book is dedicated to my husband Jack, who first told me about Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing. Without him telling me about it, this book would not be possible.

 

 



 

  1. Introduction

You’ve been looking for ways to monetize your passion for writing for years and nothing has worked? Tell me about it. I was in that boat for two decades. For years I tried to make it as a Freelance Writer, Novelist, Poet, Journalist and Biographer. My only dream in life was to make a decent wage by expressing myself in the written word. Not too much to ask, right? The unfortunate truth is that it was nearly impossible. That is, until Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing gave me the ability to reach millions of avid readers and start making a decent wage. After countless editors watered down my works and made them unreadable I was finally able to take matters into my own hands and reach my audience. AND YOU CAN TOO! Read on to find out how.

 

 




Chapter 1 Jack of all Trades

“Stephanie? Stephanie? Are you there??”

I heard the voice of my literary agent, Sally Jenkins, on the other end of the phone. She had just informed me of another rejection from Penguin. I was frozen and couldn’t respond. I hung up the phone and ran to the freezer to find consolation from my two new best friends, Ben and Jerry. I needed to stop eating this sugary poison. I had gained 70 pounds from the stress of trying to make money as a writer. My face was covered with pimples and I had near-constant diarrhea. My husband Jack walked in “Chunky Monkey again? What happened this time?”

“Penguin…”

“Well, they’re no damn good if they don’t want to publish your book babe, it’s a modern day masterpiece!”

 

While I appreciated Jack’s sentiment, I couldn’t help but feel like I was a lowlife who was no good at writing. I resented Jack for the supportive tone he took, when I felt he didn’t mean it.

 

We had been married for 7 years at that point. Our relationship was polyamorous and I had 4 other partners at the time, Simeon, James, and two other men named Jack. All of them had substance abuse issues. Whiskey, Pills, Weed, you name it.

“Shit! I’m late for my date with Jack! I need to get changed into something to look hot!” I screamed.

“Which Jack?” said Jack, my husband.

“Jack Jones” I said.

“Is that Jack Beer? or JackPot” said Jack.

I didn’t appreciate the way he was demeaning the drug and alcohol problems my other partners had.

“FUCK YOU JACK!”

I stormed off. I heard him chasing after me…”Why don’t you try self publishing on Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing?” I heard him say in the distance.

 

 




Chapter 2 Getting my Shit together

I had written 56 novels, 12 novellas, three plays, and thousands of poems in my lifetime. Not a single one had even seen the light of day. I had been laughed out of countless literary agents’  offices. I was broke as a joke and my husband Jack was supporting me because I was destitute. He worked as an investment banker at a leading global investment banking, securities and investment management firm. Because of his business ties, he had heard about Kindle Direct Publishing…a way to self-publish and make money on your writings.

As I dined at Olive Garden with Jack (not my husband, but one of my partners) I thought about what Jack (my husband) had said to me as I left.

“You look hot tonight” said Jack (my poly partner, not husband).

“Look, Jack…you’re nice and all, but I have to go home and do something..I’ll call you later.”

I called an UberXL and went straight home to my computer.

 

 




Chapter 3: Signing Up and Uploading my books

I immediately went to Amazon.com and navigated to the part where you can do Kindle Direct Publishing. “Hm, this seems easy!” I thought to myself. I uploaded my first e-book, a biography I had written on British PM Theresa May. I used their little app thing to make a cover for it.
Within minutes, it had uploaded, cover and all! It said that within 72 hours my book would be available for purchase. “Wow, this seems REALLY easy!” I thought to myself. I quickly began uploading my entire bibliography. My novel “Canary in the Coal Mind,” my play “Three Sisters and a Good Wedding,” my Poetry Collection “Reflections” and my Autobiography “Steph: The Stephanie Philllips Story” were all online for purchase within days! The crooked capitalist Montgomery Burns inside of me begin to place his little fingers together and say “excellent.”

 

 




Chapter 4: The Hurdles 

I uploaded my 80 books and waited patiently. I was so excited I couldn’t eat. After four days the sales began to trickle in, and I began to lose the weight I had put on. I thought it would be rough to sell books, but it was so easy! “Thanks Jack!” I said to my hubby. He kissed me on the cheek and we had sex.

What I didn’t realize was that it would be so hard to be making so much money doing what I love. I had limitless amounts of money to spend on things and I just didn’t know where to begin. First thing I bought was a lamborghini.

 

 




Chapter 5: Know Your Audience

They Key to making your money on Kindle Direct Publishing is writing good books. If your book is good, people will find it and love it. THis may take time, up to three weeks. Once the ball is rolling the money will be rolling in as well. Know your audience…if you’re writing a book about how to quit drinking, tell your alcoholic friends about it. In fact, I tried this. I wrote a book about how to stop drinking and doing drugs and shared it with my polyamorous Partners, Jack, Jack, Simeon and James. They each bought a copy for $2.99…quick and easy profit…the book only took me five minutes to write! Simeon said it helped him to stop smoking as well! Bonus!

 

 




Chapter 6: Work Fast

The Kindle Direct Publishing environment is fast-paced…and slow pokes will most certainly lose the race. You need to be writing good books FAST! But that’s easier done than said. DOn’t think too hard, just freely express yourself in the typing software of your preference, and upload! If you’re feeling dry and out of inspiration, just copy and paste a wikipedia article into a word doc and upload that!

 

 




Chapter 7: The End

I’ve lost over 80 pounds. I feel great, look great and am making buku bucks on my Kindle Books. I have a great emotional life and sex life with Jack and my 4 polyamourous partners. It was really easy and I wanted to share how easy it is with all of the other people in the word. I hope this guide will help you. I wrote it in 18 minutes flat and plan to make thousands on it. Thanks Jack!



How to Sound Like Boy Pablo using Guitars & Pedals

Boy Toy

Image result for boy pablo



So, you want to sound like Boy Pablo on guitar and pedals but don’t know how to do so? This guide is all you need to get an in-depth look at achieving an authentic Boy Pablo sound to your music. Boy Pablo, from Norway, made very good and cool music using their very expensive array of guitars, studio equipment and pedals to achieve their polished music sound. Unfortunately this equipment could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and would not be accesible to the guitarist on a budget. This guide will show you how to achieve Boy Pablo sounds without breaking the bank.


Get the Guitar!

Image result for vox mark iii

In the video for the song “Everytime,” the Norwegian played a Vox Mark III little teardrop guitar, which can cost hundreds of dollars and is too expensive. The good news is, all guitars sound the same. So why not go for something a little more affordable?

Smartxchoices Acoustic Guitar for Starter Beginner Music Lovers Kids Gift 38" 6-String Folk Beginners Acoustic Guitar With Gig bag, Strap, Tuner and Pick (Blue)

I reccomend the Smartxchoices Acoustic Guitar for Starter Beginner Music Lovers Kids Gift 38″ 6-String Folk Beginners Acoustic Guitar With Gig bag, Strap, Tuner and Pick (Blue)This is the perfect tool for achieving a Boy Pablo sound. As an added bonus, it is blue, just like the one he used the Everytime video. It also conveniently includes a Pitch Pipe to make sure the guitar is tune, which is necessary to play songs such as Boy Pablo ones.


Pedals

What pedals does Boy Pablo use to achieve the sounds on his debut EP Toy Pablo and when he plays live? That’s a great question!

Image result for guitar pedals

Some of the pedals he might have used include the Big Muff Fuzz, the Death by Audio Fuzz War, a Boss DS-1 Distortion and a Boss Angry Charlie, a Keeley Bubbletron, a Chase Bliss Wombtone Phaser and many others that he might have used.

Image result for ammoon pockrock

THese pedals are too expensive for the guitarist on a budget and could cost hundreds of dollars. A better solution is to just get an all-in-one box such as the ammoon PockRock Guitar Multi-effects Processor Effect Pedal. It features many sound in the box, all of which can be used to achieve the Boy Pablo sounds. It only costs $32 which is a very cheap price for a unit with so many sounds in the box.



Norwegian Wood

Because Pablo is from Norway he and the band probably eat a good amount of traditional Norwegian cuisine, so you should do so as well to get the full Boy Pablo experience. Why not get the Smoked Salmon Fillet Marquis Cut, From Norway – Approx. 1.3 – 2.2 Lbs?

It is a very tasty and delicious Norwegian classic that Boy Pablo probably also consumes.


Record your progress

In order to record the Boy Pablo styloe of music you will be making with this Boy Pablo gear, you need to have some gear for that. I reccomend getting the Korg D-1200 Digital Audio Multi Track Recorder. 

Korg D-1200 Digital Audio Multi Track Recorder

It conveniently records directly to blank CD-Rs so you don’t need to buy any non-standard storage devices such as CF cards. It also is a great way to record Boy Pablo style music!


Conclusion

It’s not easy to sound like Boy Pablo, but with this guide, it just got a whole lot easier.









Connan Mockasin’s Guitar Pedals and Rig: How to Sound like Connan Mockasin (on a budget)

Connan’s Quirky Contraptions

Image result for connan mockasin

Connan Mockasin, an Australian person, is a great music performer with a growing fanbase of people listening to his music. The fact that he has over 82,000 Likes on his Facebook page proves that he’s not only popular, but also very good, in the opinion of many people. He used many different pedals on his guitar to create the unique sound that he made. And with the recent announcement of his new Jassby album, we can look forward to hearing more of those pedals and guitars in a recorded medium. But how can you achieve a Connan Mockasin sound on your guitar? Read on to find out how you can do so!


Guitar STar

Connan MOckasin is known to use many different funny looking guitars such as a 64’s Silvertone and a Fedner STratocaster, which some people thought were cool. These are very expensive guitars which the guitarist on a budget cannot afford (because they cost too much).

Some of those cool guitars were featured in his new Jassbusters music video, “Conn Con was Impatient.”

So how can you achieve those unique Connan MOckasin-style tones without breaking the bank? The ones featured in this video could cost upward of $5000 and are simply not affordable. Because of Connan Mockasin’s success he is wealthy and can afford instruments of any price.

The good news it that all guitars sound the same and the only real difference is in how they look. So why not try out the Davison Blue Guitar?

Image result for davison red guitar

While it doesn’t look as cool as some of Connan’s guitars, it still looks very cool, and is perfect for achieving a Connan Mockasin style of tone. It’s also quite cheap, and therefore cannot be beat!



Theft and Drug Pedaling

Connan MOckasin uses many very cool pedals to achieve his silky and unique guitar tone. TO afford them, the normal person would need to steal or sell drugs. Fortunately there are some cheaper alternatives that will get you the same results.

Image result for ehx pog

Connan is known to use a Electro-Harmonix POG II Polyphonic Octave Generator. While this sounds like quite a mouthful it’s actually quite simple. It makes octave sounds, such as one octave UP or one octave DOWN. Unfortunately this pedal is very big and costs over $300.



Portable Acoustic Guitar String Pitch Pipe Six Tones Tuning Tuner

THe good news is you can bypass this pedal entirely and still achieve the Mockasin Sound! The Davison Guitar comes with a Pitch Pipe which you can use to tune your guitar. Just tune it one octave up or one octave down for the same results that a POG will provide. Keep it in your pocket so you can tune up or down an octave in-between songs.

Image result for boss ce-2

Another signature of Connan’s tone is Chorus, which he achieve using the Boss CE-2. This is a vintage (old) pedal which costs way too much money and all it does is double the guitar sound to make it sound like 2 guitars are playing. Fortunately there’s a budget alternative.

The Donner Multi Guitar Effect Pedal Alpha Cruncher 3 Type Effects is an amazing multi-effects pedal that includes chorus, along with distortion and delay. This means that in addition to the awesome chorus you are getting 2 more free effects, both of which can be used to achieve a Connan Mockasin sound!



Drop some pounds

Like many other of the coolest musicians, Connan Mockasin is very thin. In order to sound like him, you need to feel like him and you should also get skinny like he is. This can easily be achieved with Health Plus Super Colon Cleanse tablets. This one-of-a-kind formula clears out the compacted fecal matter that is trapped in your colon. Getting rid of this compacted feces can help you to lose up to 20 pounds! There’s no reason to live with hard and compacted feces that is just adding to your pound count.

Image result for impacted feces

Look at all of this compacted fecal matter. It is grotesque and painful…and it’s the main reason you continue to be overweight! So be more like Connan by clearing out this filth using the HealthPlus SUper Colon Cleanse tablets!



Conclusion

Sounding like Connan Mockasin is no easy task but using the tips in this article, it just got a whole lot easier.








How to Sound like Kurt Vile & The Violators Using Guitars and Pedals (on a budget)

Rank and Vile

Image result for kurt vile loading zones



In the olden days, Kurt Weil composed music for the plays of Bertolt Brecht. Sometime later,  Kurt Vile hit the scene. While his name is pronounced the same way, and his music also sounds old-timey, it’s actually quite different.

The Philadelphia native’s unique blend of country sounding guitars and a southern singing accent brought the deep south to Philly and people loved him for it. Along with his epic and awesome curly locks, the cool guitars he and his Violators used to achieve their signature country tones are the stuff of legend. Many folks want to sound like Kurt, but how can you do it, especially on a budget?

Would you like your guitar Spicy or Vile’d?

Kurt just released his new song  “Loading Zones” and guitarists the world over are lining up to find out how they can achieve his unique tone.

The answer is that Kurt Vile plays his diddling notes on many different guitars, all of which are expensive to buy. The guitarist on a budget cannot afford his vintage (old) Fender guitars, which even though they are old and dirtier than a new guitar, cost much, much more. The good news is that all guitars sound exactly the same, so you don’t have to pay a ton of money to get a cool sounding guitar.



I recommend the Best Choice Beginner Guitar Kit which includes everything you need to get started, including a strap and pitch pipe for $34.99. It looks rather new and clean, which is not really the style of guitar Kurt would play, but that can be fixed easily by tossing the guitar around, hitting it against stuff and putting dirt in it.

Amp

Image result for fender amp vintage

Kurt Vile plays a vintage (old) amp. In order to achieve this I reccomend looking in Pawnshops or Craigslist for old dirty amps to match the style of the Amps he has.


Pedalboards of the Stars

Kurt Vile’s pedalboard is very big and full of many different pedals of ddifferent colors and shapes.

Image result for kurt vile pedalboard

He uses a combination of new and vintage pedals. While these pedals are essential in achieving the Kurt Vile tone, they are extremely expensive and cost prohibitive to purchase for the guitarist on a budget.



Instead of spending all your money on all those pedals, why not just get a ammoon PockRock Guitar Multi-effects Processor Effect Pedal. FOr the cheap low price of $32.99 it features many pedal sounds in the box, at a very high and good quality. Also it has a drum machine inside the box so you can fire the drummer and get the Kurt Vile & The Violators Drum Sounds using the drum machine in the box. 

Image result for ammoon pockrock

The Look

To sound like Kurt VIle you should also dress like him. While you could go to Urban Outfitters to buy a flannel shirt that looks worn, why not just order one off amazon? At $10, you cannot beat the great price.

Legendary Whitetails Buck Camp Flannels Homestead Plaid Large



If it looks too new, just drag it through the dirt a few times and then try it out. You will be looking (and sounding) like Kurt Vile in no time at all!

 

Conclusion

Kurt Vile’s sound is hard to acheive, but using this article, it got alot easier.





























How to Sound like Phish using Guitars and Pedals (Without Breaking the Bank)

Big Phish to Fry

So you want to be a big-shot and achieve tone like Trey Anastasio from the Phish band? That’s no easy task! Every Phan wants to be like Trey and achieve his level of tone. With his extensive array of rare and custom guitars, pedals and amps, purchasing all of Trey’s gear could cost hundreds of dollars or more! For the guitarist and Phish or jam enthusiast on a budget this is too hefty a load of money to spend. So how can you sound like Phish and Trey for cheaper? Read on to find out!


Phish-Sticks

The guitars Trey uses are known as Phish Sticks because of their long shape and the fact that they are being used by the Phish band. It is a pun on Fishsticks, the popular meal for children. Many of Trey’s Phish Sticks are custom made, meaning a wood builder puts it together for him specially, meaning it’s a very rare and one-of-a-kind item. So even if you wanted to buy a specific Phish Stick, it’s would not be possible. The good news is that all guitars sound the same. For the guitarist on a budget, I reccomend the Davison black guitar.



Image result for davison black guitar

It looks cool, and has all the great rock and Phish energy of a more expensive guitar. 



 

Phish Tank

Amps, or Phish Tanks, as they’re called in the Phish community, are the big black boxes that transmit the sound of the electric guitar out into the audience. They have a square or rectangular shape, much like a Fish Tank, so it’s a pun, much like Phish Stick. For doing a very big shows at places like Madison Square Garden, Trey needs very big Phish Tanks to make this happen.

Image result for mooer little tank



Trey uses very big expensive amps, such as a Fender Deluxe Reverb 65 and a  Swart ST-6V6se Space Tone Tube Amplifier. These are too expensive for the guitarist on a budget. Instead why not use the Mooer Little Tank D15?

It has Tank in the name, so it truly deserves the honor of being a Phish Tank. And for the low price it’s being offered for on Amazon, how could you refuse that item? Also it’s a littler one that what Trey has so it will be easy to carry around.


Trey’s Pedal

Trey Anastasio, the guitarist of Phish, is known to use a plethora of pedals. His dazzling array of pedals includes a Tube Screamer, a Whammy, a Ross Compressor and a tuner. THese are all very rare and expensive to purchase or own so doing that on a budget would be impossible.

 

Image result for ammoon pockrock

Why not instead go for the  ammoon PockRock Guitar Multi-effects Processor Effect Pedal 15 Effect Types 40 Drum Rhythms Tuning Function with Power Adapter Not only will it provide you with many guitar effects to help achieve the Phish tone, it also features a Drum Machine which can be used to create John FIshman style beats



 

Conclusion

Sounding like Phish aint easy. But it just got a whole lot easier with this guide.

How to Sound Like Joy Division on Guitar using Pedals and Guitars (On A Budget)

Ode to Joy

Image result for joy division



Joy Division was one of the coolest and best bands from the old times. They came from the UK and talked with British voices. Their dark music was very good and many people enjoyed the goth sounds they made. Joy Division inspired many dark goth rockers to come such as Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie and countless others. Very unique to their style was the pedals, effects and guitars that they used to achieve their goth sound. But those gears are expensive and too much money for a normal person to buy.

A History of Dark Goth Music

Joy Division featured the guitar works of Ian Curtis, Bernard Summer, Peter Hook and Stephen Morris. They were all skinny, which is a big part of many band’s appearances, and Ian Curtis was the most skinny of them. He had a mean looking face that was cool and scary to all the goth listeners who were listening to their dark lyrics.



As you can see in this video of Transmission he has a very low and scary voice. But his weird face and voice were only part of what made them such a good band. It was also the guitar and bass sounds.  So how did those guys play those music like that?



 

Get a Guitar!

The first step to creating any kind of rock music, including Goth Rock, like Joy Division, is to get a guitar. It’s a classic instrument that is a symbol of rock n’ roll and when you have one you can create great Joy Division style sounds. Joy Division always used the most expensive and rare guitars such as Gibson SG and others in their performances, which is not possible for most people to acquire. However, the good news is that most guitars sound the same so why not get this one?



The Crescent Acoustic Guitar sells for $36 on Amazon and is the first step for making rock sounds such as what Joy Division would have made.


Pedals

Joy Division used many cool pedals in their rig such as the ELectro-Harmonix clone theory, which is a pedal that makes chorus and vibrato. These are very cool effects, but that pedal cost way too much money to buy.

Image result for donner tutti love

We reccomend the DOnner Tutti pedal. It’s $35 which is very cheap and when you plug the Crescent guitar into it you will start to sound like Joy Division because it is also that same type of chorus effect.


Clothings

Image result for Cimeiee Punk Gothic Women Leggings Hollow Out Five-Pointed Star Pentagram Pencil Pants

Joy Division was known to look cool so definitely buy some cool clothing items if you are going for  Gothic JOy Division style of dress or music.  I reccomend the  Cimeiee Punk Gothic Women Leggings Hollow Out Five-Pointed Star Pentagram Pencil Pants , which you can buy on Amazon for a very cheap price.

Conclusion

Joy Division’s gothic tones are hard to achieve, but now it just got easier with this easy how-to guide.