A revolutionary new program from Dr. Moshe C. Bragge, pHD
Ever wanted to learn how to lose weight using psychedelic substances such as LSD (acid), psilocybin mushrooms, peyote, DMT and more?
Now you can, using Moshe C. Bragge’s revolutionary new book, Using Hallucinogenic Drugs to Lose Weight FAST!
It’s simple easy and fun to trip out and activate fat busting neurons in the conscious and subconscious mind! You can watch an informative video here:
Many people are concerned about their access to LSD and mushrooms during the Coronavirus pandemic, however there’s absolutely no need to worry. THis book teaches you how to extract DMT from the brains of animals in order to keep losing weight during a global pandemic.
RUN! Don’t walk to pick up this fascinating weight loss program. Forget the marijuana for weight loss, forget the alcohol for weight loss and get “low” using hallucinogenic drugs!
United States has participated in many wars including World War I and World War
ii but In March 2020 they went to war with their most challenging foe to
date–the Coronavirus, also known as COVID-19. This crippling virus caused
universal closures of restaurants, bars and gyms.
In a traditional war we can throw bombs at our enemies, but this virus cannot be shot with a pistol or grenade because it is too small to be seen. You could shoot a bullet from a gun in the air, and it might hit a coronavirus particle, but because the virus is so small, we will never know if the bullet hit it or not.
We could hire teams to shoot guns in the air in every direction all day long in order to kill the virus but the problem is they may hit a valuable object or person, and therefore is not an effective way to stop the spread of Coronavirus.
While its long-lasting effects are still unknown, we can most certainly ascertain that an unwanted side effect of our quarantined state will be weight gain. People will sit at home binge-watching Netflix and eating poisonous garbage that is filled with carbs.
Foods like cakes, pies and cookies will be consumed in abundance and as the Coronavirus pandemic levels off, the obesity epidemic will worsen. Lack of gym access will only heighten the problem. Binge eating carbs is a dangerous, unhealthy and unnecessary coping mechanism.
If only people knew: it is not only easy, but FUN to practice Keto while quarantined. You will eat great, lose weight and be in the best shape of your life…all from the comfort of your own home. When the period of extreme social distancing and mandatory isolation ends you will emerge from your home into our post-apocalyptic streets with your Quarantine Bod and impress those who have survived in your town. Read on to find out how you can utilize the Keto diet to become a hot and healthy survivor using this revolutionary new diet.
What is Keto?
The Keto Diet is a revolutionary new diet that drastically cuts carbohydrate intake. This forces your body into a metabolic process called “Ketosis.” When in Ketosis your body effectively burns fat for energy along with thousands of calories along the way.
I’ve used Keto to radically alter my own life and the lives of my family members. I wrote the book Keto for Kids because I was fearful of having a fat child. My little Robert was a plump baby and that didn’t sit well with me. I immediately cut off his supply of breast milk (which is high in carbs) and forced him onto a restrictive Keto diet.
Robert is now 12 years old and weighs a healthy 51 pounds. He is very thin and attractive and has not even touched a carbohydrate in years. To say that Keto drastically changed my life for the better would be an understatement. I have decided to devote the rest of my life to spreading the good word about Keto. Now, in the time of pandemic, we need it more than ever.
Step One: Eradicate All Carbs
The emerging Coronavirus epidemic is being fought using the technique of Social distancing to avoid rapid spread of the disease. If only obesity could be cured with social distancing! The unfortunate reality is that obese people are forced to socially distance because they are considered the dregs of society and no one wants to be around them.
The obese have been socially distancing for years. For the obese, socially distancing does not cure what ails them, nor does it prevent the spread of obesity. If anything, being socially distant reinforces their sadness. The vicious cycle continues ad nauseam while they consume fatty cakes and pies all along the way.
Don’t allow yourself to be a victim of the obesity epidemic! Walk to your pantry right now and throw away anything that has any carbohydrates! This includes milk (not heavy cream), crackers, rice, bread, beans, ketchup, all fruits, sugar, candy, ice cream and beer.
You may be saying to yourself “what the hell will I eat?” The good news is you can eat like a king on Keto. Bacon, Steaks, Cheese, Whipped Cream, Avocados and Hard Liquor are all completely acceptable and can be consumed in abundance.
Because our country is going through a national emergency, you could also consider donating the food to a homeless shelter or food charity however I would strongly advise against this. You may feel good about yourself for being generous, but you are just killing other people with garbage carb-heavy food. Have some compassion for your fellow man and flush the carbs down the toilet.
Step Two: The Keto Flu
Anyone who has tried the Keto diet knows of the dreaded “Keto Flu.” As your body becomes less dependent on carbs, you will experience malaise and flu-like symptoms. This is absolutely normal and nothing to worry about. After a few days the keto flu will be over and your body will be in full-on ketosis. Hell ya!
The complications occur when you are starting keto in the midst of a flu pandemic. Many people mistake their keto flu for the coronavirus. Some of the symptoms are similar: diarrhea, aches and pains, fatigue. Further complicating this phenomena is the fact that it is possible to be going through the Keto Flu AND the novel Coronavirus simultaneously.
Sound complex? Well, it is. But worry not. If your city has a coronavirus testing site in place you can go and get tested. If you have the coronavirus, don’t worry, just quarantine for 14 days and jumpstart your Keto routine. It doesn’t kill most people, although it may kill you. If the Coronavirus doesn’t kill you, a carb-heavy diet will.
Many people eat unhealthy food like cakes and pies when they are sick. Don’t do that! Start your Keto journey now. Eat plenty of sausages, cheese, whipped cream, bacon and oil. You will lose weight rapidly. Remember: obese people have compromised immune systems. The faster you lose weight, the stronger your immune system will be, and the more energy it will have to fight off the coronavirus (COVID-19).
if you test negative for the virus? Do the exact same thing! Eat plenty of
sausage, cheese, whipped cream bacon and oil!
If you go to the doctor to ask about coronavirus, ask him to test your ketone levels as well. If you are producing ketones it means your body is in ketosis and the fat is in the process of melting off!
Step Three: Get the Keto Foods
those of you unfamiliar with the Keto diet, it may be helpful to discover the
delicious staple foods that I encourage you to eat every day for every meal.
Those staples are:
you exclusively consume these items for every meal you will see remarkable
improvements. Your waistline will start to shrink and the sexy you will emerge
from the fat shell you’ve been hiding inside of.
Because the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic has shut down all non-essential businesses in most major cities, people worry about disruptions to the food supply chain. Depending on fresh sausage and heavy cream may be difficult. So what are some keto friendly canned foods that will last in the pantry during a pre or post apocalyptic situation?
Spam is a great tasting and widely available option. At just one carbohydrate per can, Spam is the champion of Keto canned foods bar none. In second place, I recommend Buttered Mushrooms, which are buttery and delicious.
Don’t forget that oils last a long time in the pantry, so you can drink a tall glass of oil, which is delicious, filling and totally Keto friendly. If you do go the route of drinking condiments and cooking essentials, check the nutrition on the label. Carbohydrates should read 1g or less. DO NOT EAT KETCHUP! I repeat DO NOT EAT KETCHUP! It is the silent keto killer.
People think Ketchup is Ketogenic, but it is full of nasty carbs. If you feel you cannot help it, drink a glass of hot sauce thickened with heavy cream, which has a similar consistency and red color but with 0 carbs. In my previous tome, Keto for Kids, I spoke of the intense addiction to ketchup that my little Robert had developed. Weaning him off of it was like exorcising demons from a prostitute. It’s no joke, and takes intense effort.
Step Four: Eating Wildlife and Pets
In the midst of a pandemic, expect the worst. You may run out of food and be forced to eat wildlife that is native to your habitat. In my area that would mean squirrels and pigeons. Luckily, these animals are both completely gluten free and Keto friendly!
If you have a shotgun, bow and arrow or darts it is not difficult to kill squirrels. Make sure to keep sharp knives on hand so you can skin them. Don’t throw away the carcass either, as it can be boiled to create a delicious broth for a future Keto soup!
going outside to hunt for game isn’t always an option. If the virus becomes
airborne or social unrest creates a state of martial law it is safer to stay
inside. In this case there will be very few Keto options available…except
maybe the most obvious.
Man’s best friend, the dog, can also be man’s best meal in the case of quarantine. I understand that no one wants to eat their dog, as people develop intense emotionally codependent relationships with these animals. But if the dog understood that it was giving its life so that you could live healthier (by being Keto), it would understand.
Dog meat is not only life sustaining, it is also delicious and KETO FRIENDLY! After killing your dog (I recommend contacting the SPCA for reccomendations on humane euthanasia options), grind up some dog meat with your meat grinder and with simple ingredients like Zoodles (noodles made from vegetables like zucchini), ricotta cheese and mozzarella you can make a Keto Dog Lasagna.
A lot of you are probably thinking “what will I do once I finish eating the dog? What will I eat then?” I have one word for you: Preparation! No possibility should be left unexplored. If you believe that there is a chance you will have to consume your dog at some point it’s imperative that you NOT neuter your dog and begin purchasing other dogs (of the opposite gender). Start breeding in advance of any emergency. That way you will have a whole stable of dogs to choose from.
Because these dogs won’t be going out for walks, their flesh will be fattier and primed for consumption over the typical dogs that take several walks per day and develop unappetizing muscle mass. Keep breeding. Learn how to make your dogs attracted to each other and make sure they produce many litters of pups by having sex very often. Dress your dogs in lingerie to increase their attraction to one another. Use dog-friendly perfumes which are a natural aphrodisiac that dogs cannot resist. You can make some money on the side by filming your dogs having sex, posting the footage on YouTube and watching the ad revenue pour in.
can have generations of litter interbreed and only a percentage of the dogs
will come out with genetic defects. Please note that these defects rarely
affect the flavor of the meat.
Learn the essentials of butchering and how to properly parse your dog’s corpse into its most edible components. If you don’t like the taste of organ meat, you can feed the organs to your remaining dogs to keep them healthy and well-fed without breaking the bank.
As a sidebar, we’ve all heard of the dog whose bark is worse than its bite. Well sometimes bark can be better than a bite of dog. Assuming it’s safe to go outside, stripping a tree of its bark and boiling it into a fondue with some heavy cream and other scraps you have lying around can be a delicious subsistence way to enjoy one of nature’s gifts to man…and it’s KETO FRIENDLY! Just don’t eat it with crackers, they are full of nasty carbs. You can take some wood chips or rocks from outside and use them to dip into the fondue. You can’t digest the rocks but you can use it as a kind of spoon. Don’t let anyone tell you that Keto food is hard to access! It’s right in front of you! NO EXCUSES! Being healthy, slim and fit always needs to be priority number one, global crisis or no.
Step Five: Can I eat my own fecal
One question that I get asked alot is whether or not one can eat their own fecal matter in the case of a food shortage. Predictably, the addendum to that inquiry is whether or not fecal matter is keto friendly.
This is a complex question to answer. Fecal matter is highly edible, although not particularly palatable. It is Keto Friendly if you haven’t been eating carbs. Essentially, feces is the food you have already eaten, but more smelly and disgusting looking.
The body digests the delicious parts of the foods and evacuates the nasty tasting parts out of your rectum. Therefore most people do not enjoy eating fecal matter. I am of the opinion that it’s fine to eat feces as long as you have been practicing keto for a good amount of time and there is no risk of any carb chunks being present.
Many people find it difficult to get over the very strong, foul taste of fecal matter. For this I recommend a spritz of yellow mustard, which is gluten free and keto friendly. It has a lot of vinegar in it which masks the phosphorus smell that is so unattractive in fecal matter.
Another question I am often asked is whether or not one can drink urine...or eat fecal matter that has been floating in a bath of urine (usually in the toilet or in apocalypse scenarios with no plumbing, in a bucket). The answer is an emphatic YES.
Urine is not only a refreshing and salty beverage, it is also naturally ketogenic and has a myriad of other health benefits. Scientists from around the globe have been preaching urine’s health benefits for decades, and it’s frankly a shock that the mainstream scientific community has systematically ignored this ‘superfood.’
For men, urine is great in pandemic/apocalypse scenarios if there is a cup shortage because they can aim their penis upwards and urinate directly into their own mouths.
Step Six: Develop a Workout Regimen
the case of a pandemic, epidemiologists recommend quarantining entire segments
of the population in order to ‘flatten the curve.’ In the case of coronavirus
(COVID-19), most people under the age of 70 are not at great risk of dying if
they are infected, and in fact many people are asymptomatic. Quarantining
measures are not taken to protect the lives of younger people, but rather to
slow the spread of the virus so as not to overwhelm the hospital system.
while you are quarantined at home doing society a favor by flattening the curve
make sure to flatten those abs!
There are a plethora of great workouts you can do from the comfort of your home without a pricey gym membership. Just google them. Pushups, sit-ups and jogging in place are all great options. If you are breeding dogs for food (as you should) you can lift up pups or even small full grown dogs and use them as weights if you don’t have dumbbells.
Step Seven: Build a House of Mirrors
One technique which is very effective for all dieters, not just Keto Dieters is the old House of Mirrors trick. Place mirrors in all corners of your home. Make sure there are no places where you can escape to without seeing your reflection. Confront the grotesque fat you have on your body at every second. It is unbearable to look at fat! You will be instantly motivated to make it melt away with an exclusively Ketogenic diet!
of today we don’t know what will happen with the COVID-19 pandemic. Many
outcomes are possible. The point of this text is to make you realize that no
matter what the obstacles are, it is possible to practice the keto diet, be
healthy and lose weight. Our existence on this planet is fragile to say the
least. This world is made up of infinite
possibilities, great joys and terrible tragedies. Within this context of
uncertainty and fragility you are now prepared to practice Keto and be the most
physically attractive person you can be.
listed on the front cover and title page of this book, my name is Moshe C.
Bragge, pHD. I am a clinician. My specialties are the Keto Diet, CBD and the
use of hallucinogenic mushrooms to lose weight. Used in tandem, these three
things represent the holy trinity of weight loss. For those that prefer not to
ingest psychoactive substances this Keto guide is a perfect starter for getting
shape in the midst of an emerging pandemic.
An Essay on Lifestyle and Mental Health by Dr. Moshe C. Bragge, PhD
Life is profoundly confusing, stressful, painful. To find a reason to stay alive in a world which is so cruel, callous, chaotic and random can be difficult to say the least. Suicide is the only logical choice for the sane and rational among us. But in spite of all that, we fight with every ounce of strength we have to stay alive. But does life HAVE to be SO difficult, SO challenging?
I cherish every opportunity I get to fly in an airplane because it means I’ll get to spend some time in an airport.
Moshe C. Bragge
As you probably guessed by the title of this essay, I love airports. If I ever have a ticket to fly, I like to arrive 4-6 hours before my flight just to basque in the well-lit glow of the airport’s terminals. I like to savor the experience of being in an airport because it’s so distant from the cruelty of our daily lives. It’s a place where people are kind to one another. A place where there is order, structure. There are no food shortages in the airport, and you don’t run the risk of soiling your clothing as there’s always a bathroom right around the corner. People in airports are able to relax at the comfy seats in the terminal waiting areas. Instead of the existential dread of uncertainty that daily life confronts us with, airports provide us with helpful screens that let us know our flight status. And if that level of comfort was not enough, there are kind employees that work for the airlines stationed at each terminal.
Airports are controlled environments where stress is virtually nonexistent.
Moshe C. Bragge, PhD
Crimes don’t happen in airports and when they do happen the criminals are dealt with swiftly. Let’s not forget the diverse array of foods that are available for purchase. Anything you’d ever want to eat is available at airports for a reasonable price. All of my favorite fast food chains are represented in the airports of today; from Burger King to McDonalds all the way to Dunkin Donuts and beyond.
(Speaking of Beyond, I highly recommend the Dunkin Donuts Beyond Sausage Breakfast Melt if you’re in the mood for a healthy and meat-free treat).
Moshe C. Bragge, PhD
Not to mention that many of today’s airports have great shopping opportunities available. At the Philadelphia International Airport there’s a Gap for clothing purchases. If you’re flying to a funeral or wedding you can buy the formal attire of your choosing without a problem right in the airport without having to think about packing a pesky suitcase.
Are you a bookworm? Literally every airport is armed with a bookstore. Find a great tome that’s just right for you and snuggle up with it during or before your flight. For those of you who like to relax with an adult beverage (alcohol), all airports have wonderful bars that carry great liquors and beers. I don’t drink, but I often like to sit in the airport bars just to watch others drink. It always strikes me that the travelers in airports are far less rowdy than the riff raff that hang out in bars in the ‘real world.’ They seem contented, mild mannered, controlled.
Life is a journey, not a destination.
Moshe. C. Bragge, PhD
Why can’t we do something to make the real world as structured, safe and pleasant as an airport? Why can’t every bathroom be as clean as an airport bathroom? What is preventing us from experiencing this utopia of structure and functionally? Airports dangle the forbidden fruit before our eyes. “Look,” the airport says, “the happiness you’ve always dreamed of DOES exist.” But why only in the few hours of waiting for domestic or international flights do we get to experience euphoria? Why do train stations still reek of urine, while airports are spiffy and clean as a whistle? If a bus stop could be even 1/20th of what any airport is, I’d ride the bus every day.
The fact is that we have to do our darndest to bring structure and order to our lives in order to make our daily experience more comparable to living inside an airport. This means cleaning your bathroom constantly, petitioning for fast food chains to open up in your neighborhood, eradicating problematic friendships from your life and having an ever present will to go on a great adventure. When I speak of adventure, I don’t refer to a flight to Ft. Lauderdale, FL or Dallas, TX. No, I refer to the adventure of life. Life is a journey, not a destination. So take a cue from your local airport and do your damndest to make your journey more comfortable.
So, you want to sound like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on a budget? Not so easy to do. Not only is their music very difficult to play, the gear John Frusciante and other people in the band use is very expensive to purchase! Even when John Frusiciante wasn’t in the band and the Josh guitarist took his place his gear was very expensive. This can be very disappointing for the up and coming funk-rock player.
Luckily, with this guide, you can learn how to achieve the funk-rock sound of the RHCP band without all the hassle of purchasing an extremely expensive gear rig.
Get a guitar
On RHCP songs such as “Califronication” and “Give it Away” John achieves great tone through the use of his expensive gear such as a Fender Stratocaster and a Vox AC30 amplifier. These items are way too pricey for the guitarist on a budget to afford. Cumulatively these items could cost as much as $600, which is too much money for the guitarist on a budget. Luckily all guitars sound the same. The difference is just in the look of it. So why not go for something a little more affordable?
Let’s face it, rock music is a loud genre. So you’ll need an amp to get loud with, just like John Frusciante would do. But the prices of amps these days will force you to live “Under the Bridge” for months because you will not be able to make your rent payments if you purchase one. Luckily there are some great affordable models available on the market today.
I can’t say enough good things about this ZoWeeTek Headphone Amp. It is nice way to hear the excellent rock sounds your guitar is making without waking up parents, neighbors and lovers. At the very cheap price of $29, it costs alot less than the John Frusciante amps, but it doesn’t disappoint. In fact, for the price point it is far superior to the overpriced, heavy and loud rigs that John uses.
Red Hot Chilli Pedals
Mr. Frusciante along with Josh, the other guy, use a plethora of extremely cool pedals to achieve the sound that they worked for. This includes Digitech Whammys, Electro Harmonix MicroSynthesizers and many other cool pedals. In fact, if you watch the Rig Rundown video of Josh, he has so many that they are on multiple boards and a British man was hired to go on tour just to manage all the pedals.
While it’s undoubtedly very cool to have such a big pedalboard with so many pedals, it’s impossible to afford for the funk rock guitarist on a budget. In order to make enough money to afford those pedals, you need to already be a famous rock star. But how do you get famous as a rock star without the pedals? Up to now this has been the Catch-22 of budding guitar heroes.
We have talked about the ammoon PockRock ad nauseum on this site. Well, sorry to sound like a broken record, but this is the be all and end all of multi-effect pedals. Featuring 5 effect modules, this unit has everything you need to sound like both John Frusciante and Josh. And at $35, it is way cheaper than spending the hundreds of dollars on pedals that John Frusicante does.
Know Your Role
Flea, who plays bass with the Chilli Peppers, is in very good shape even though he is old. He often shows his bare chest and exposes that he has been working out. His cool rock guy tattoos shine nicely on his muscular frame. The same goes for the singer guy, Anthony. John Frusciante (and Josh) probably also work out. They are more thin in build, which is a very sexy look for some people. You’re not going to emulate the Chilli Peppers by being fat or normal. You need to have big muscles or be very skinny. But who has the time or money for a gym membership?
Another great way to lose weight is through the Keto Diet. There are a plethora of great books on how to lose weight fast using this revolutionary fat-based diet that encourages exclusive consumption of bacon, whipped cream and butter. My favorite is Keto for Kids by Dr. Moshe C. Bragge.
It is well known that the Chilli Peppers dabbled in Heroin, a very dangerous substance. It won’t be easy to emulate the Chilli Peppers without an intoxicant, but who wants the hassle of buying illegal heroin and fostering an expensive and unhealthy addiction? That’s why I reccomend CBD Gummies, which can be purchased on Amazon.com! Chew on these neat Gummies before practice, during a gig, or any time you’re just rocking out to become a truly intoxicated Chilli Pepper!
So you want to sound like indie rocker Weyes Blood? Achieving her rock sound is no easy feat, as her sounds are very hard to achieve. The core of her rock music tones involves very expensive music gear, such as big pianos, expensive guitars and other very costly items. Sounding like Weyes Blood is not possible for the musician on a budget, however with this guide it is now completely possible!
Acquire a Guitar
Weyes Blood makes her rock music often using a piano. While this may seem like an strange instrument to use for a rock musician, it is actually a very common instrument for many rockers such as Elton John. Don’t forget, her music sounds like it’s old, but it is actually newly made (within the last 5 years). But sometimes she also plays a guitar such as in this video of her performing her one song Andromeda:
So in order to sound like her, you should purchase a guitar. In this video she’s using a very expensive old brown wooden guitar. This item would be too expensive for the guitarist on a budget. Luckily all guitars sound the same and the main difference is in the way they look .
The Mugig Red guitar even includes a pitch pipe! This is a essential item. Weyes Blood has a very beautiful voice which always stays in tune with the song she is playing. A pitch pipe is necessary to keep your Mugig guitar in tune so the singing won’t get bad. Simply blow on the pipe and find the note that should be there, and then change it on the guitar to be that note.
Why not try out the Electro-Harmonix Mel9? It makes the guitar sound like an old keyboard from the 70s. Because WEyes Blood makes old 70s sounding music, it is the perfect tool for achieving Weyes Blood style of music without breaking the bank.
Many people have noticed that Weyes Blood, Natalie, has a good voice. While this is a god given talent for her, it is possible to train yourself to also have a good voice. Just get this book, “Sing Like a Star” by Diane Hall. It is available only on Amazon Kindle, so get a Kindle if you want to read it.
The book is great because it contains all the tips on how to sound like Weyes Blood by making your voice good. It is also a Best Seller, so that shows how good the book is.
It is not easy to sound like Weyes Blood, but with this guide, it just got a whole lot easier.
It goes without saying that as parents we love our children unconditionally. When my Robert was born it was the happiest day of my life. I didn’t know that degrees of ecstasy like this could exist. Robert was a beautiful healthy baby who emerged from his mother’s body weighing a completely standard 6 pounds. My wife Stephanie and I couldn’t believe the immensely beautiful creature we had brought into the world.
Robert at birth, healthy weight
We were overjoyed and overwhelmed with warm feelings of love…that is until Robert hit the dreaded ‘terrible twos.’ For us, the terrible twos weren’t terrible because of misbehavior, tantrums or crying. They were terrible because our Robert was beginning to get chubby and lose that slim, healthy façade we had grown to love so much. While my love for Robert was not diminished, I have to admit I was disappointed in the idea of having a fat child. You see, I have always been very slim and fit so I had no idea how to deal with problems related to being overweight or obese. It was around this time that I began researching dieting methods. I was completely unfamiliar with all of the phoney, false and outright wrong dieting techniques that are advertised regularly. And I was shocked and outraged to say the least.
Robert at 2,still cute but morbidly obese
It was my complete naivety that allowed me to adequately develop the system that you are going to learn about. The Keto diet is the latest craze in weight loss, but up until now it has been exclusively recommended for adults (currently the medical establishment only recommends a Keto diet for children who suffer from epilepsy…more on that later). So, what is the Keto Diet? Will my child lose weight on this diet? Won’t my child have to suffer and sacrifice eating the foods they love? Read on to find out all this and more! It could be the life-saving tool that you need to keep your child skinny forever! Obesity is an epidemic that threatens ruin the very fabric of our society. Do what you can to prevent it from infecting those that you love the most.
Much like the infamous Atkins diet, the Keto diet is a low-carb, high-fat diet. By cutting out carbs you force your body into a state of Ketosis. While in the ketogenic state, your body will begin to use fats as fuels. It is great for losing weight rapidly without sacrificing many of the delicious flavors you know and love. One study found that people on a ketogenic diet lost 2.2 times more weight than those on a calorie-restricted low-fat diet.
One of the complexities of the Keto diet is knowing exactly which food items have carbohydrates and which do not. All meats are low in carbs, as is heavy cream, cheese, avocados. But foods such as breads, nachos and sugars must be avoided at all costs. Even most fruits which we know and love are not to be eaten on the Ketogenic diet. Many vegetables are also restricted. A quick google search will tell you all you need to know about which foods you can eat…and which you can’t.
So that’s Keto in a nutshell. But how can we design a Keto meal plan for kids that works? Read on to find out.
Keto for Newborns
It is important to start your kids on Keto at a very, very early age…namely, the moment they are born. It would be a shame if you made the same mistake that Stephanie and I made with our Robert. One common misconception parents have is that breast milk is good for the child. This couldn’t be further from the truth. One cup of breast milk has 17 grams of carbohydrates, which is more carbs than are recommended for an ADULT on the Keto diet. Don’t bother yourself with the hassle and utter embarrassment of breastfeeding your baby high-carb liquid poison. As a great, keto-friendly alternative feed your baby heavy cream. It is available at any grocery store, it tastes great and is extremely low in carbs. Mainstream medical establishment doctors recommend feeding newborns breast milk exclusively for their first six months. This is an acceptable length of time to feed your child heavy cream exclusively. Once the child reaches 6 months and starts eating solids you can make quick and easy Keto friendly baby foods by mashing together common Keto ingredients into delicious pastes… use your imagination to create combinations. The babies are too young to communicate their preferences verbally, so really it could be anything…avocado, bacon, cream, cheese, asparagus, pork. It’s up to you. They will not be able to protest the way older children do.
Keto for Toddlers
As your little ones begin to grow they will develop their own taste in foods and drink. You will begin to learn which foods they love and which they don’t care for. There are a few common misconceptions that parents raising their kids have about exactly which items are Keto friendly. Don’t get caught in the trap! Kids seem to universally love a very specific condiment which is a Keto Dieter’s nightmare: Ketchup. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstances feed your child ketchup. One tablespoon of Heinz ketchup has 5 grams of carbohydrates, which is far more than a Keto Baby should have in one day. Once they have the taste of ketchup on their impressionable lips, they will want it again and again. When they learn to talk they will complain incessantly about wanting ketchup. It’s enough to drive any sane person mad.
Our Robert spent his first few years eating Ketchup. When we transitioned him to a more Keto Friendly condiment (hot sauce), he cried nonstop for weeks. It was not only loud and annoying but also extremely pathetic. It was a sad sight to see. I blame myself for feeding him ketchup during his developmental years. With the help of a therapist and extremely frequent isolation time-outs we were able to teach Robert that Ketchup would no longer be a part of his diet.
So how can you avoid these complicated fixes? To start off, never give your childketchup. Toddlers will love a fresh and warm hot dog served with no bun and doused in mustard. If they want a red condiment, hot sauce is a great option. Robert loves his bun-less hot dogs with a bit of mustard and hot sauce.
The Most Toxic Poison
Children are known to love one of the most toxic poisons known to man. It transforms little ones from angelic innocents into obese and cherubic ne’er-do-wells. What is this poison? SUGAR!
Sugar is extremely high in carbohydrates, yet many of the foods children love are chock full of sugar. Clearly the manufacturers of these foods did not have a keto diet in mind, and did not care about the health and physical appearance of all the poor children who now have to suffer with obese and grotesque figures.
Practically every treat that kids love contains loads of sugar; sodas, popsicles, lollipops, candy bars, ice cream are just a few of them. So how can we keep our kids from eating these poisons that will undoubtedly make them fat and unappealing in adult life?
If you bake your child a keto birthday cake (remember, no wheat), make sure to use erythitrol instead of sugar. It is a type of sugar alcohol, which tastes 80% as sweet as sugar but does not metabolize carbs.
Avoiding sugar is the first line of defense in any child keto diet. The following pages are some great Keto meal plans.
Delectable Keto Snacks
One of the great pleasures of childhood is enjoying a good snack. But the sad truth is that most snacks are not Keto friendly.
Here are some simple, easy and delicious Keto-friendly snacks that your kid could will go nuts for:
-String Cheese: All kids love a good stick of string cheese. The great news? It’s naturally keto friendly!
–Meat Sticks: Meat sticks are delicious and available almost everywhere. Slim Jims are a yummy spiced meat blend which kids will not complain about!
-(No Cookies) Cup of Cream: Traditional wisdom says kids love milk and cookies. It goes without saying that cookies are out of the question because of the wheat and sugar, and milk is high in carbs. Why not go for a glass of heavy cream? It is rich, delicious and has a sweet aftertaste that kids will almost certainly prefer to cookies. Stir in some coconut milk and a hint of vanilla extract and BAM, your kids are instantaneously transported to an exotic island of flavors!
-Pork Rinds: It may come as a surprise, but pork rinds are 100% keto-friendly, kid-tested and mother approved.
-Deli Meats: Another great snack is ¼ pound of cold cuts. Almost any variety is perfectly keto friendly so it is up to the taste buds and discretion of the child.
–Diet Coke pops: Kids love popsicles, but they are always full of high-carb sugar. Why not make your own popsicles at home with Diet Coke? Simply fill an ice cube tray with Diet Coke, freeze, and give the frozen cubes to your kids. Robert especially loves these cubes on a hot summer day.
-(Better than Ice) Cream Cheese Sandwich: Cream Cheese is 100% keto and 200% delicious. It’s also solid when cold, but melty and viscous when exposed to heat, much like ice cream. Stick a smidge of cream cheese between two Keto Friendly Fat Based Snack Bars (available for purchase on Amazon). It’s just as good, if not better, than any ice cream sandwich.
SNACKS TO AVOID
It’s sad to say, but many of the foods we were told had great nutritional value are in fact a Ketogenic Nightmare. Do not, under any circumstances give your kids any of the following:
If you want to keep your child slim and trim, the following lunches will have them watering at the mouth while maintaining their ketosis:
-(Not Quite) PB&J- What child doesn’t love the perennial classic peanut butter and jelly? It’s simple, easy and delicious! The only problem? The bread and jelly are chock full of pesky carbohydrates, which will quickly kick your child out of ketosis and make them fat and undesirable. The good news is that organic peanut butter is actually quite keto friendly, with just 2g of net carbs per tablespoon. The PB is undoubtedly the most delicious part of a PB&J sandwich, so why not have it by itself? Simply scoop several tablespoons of organic peanut butter into a bowl and feed it to your child with a spoon.
–(Not Quite Macaroni)and Cheese-Kraft Mac and Cheese has been a staple of children’s cuisine for decades. It tastes great at any time of day–and is actually quite ok on the keto diet…if you subtract the macaroni. The powdered orange cheese and the added cream alone are fine–and the only components with flavor. Simply discard the flavorless macaroni from the box and prepare the orange powder and milk. Serve in a bowl with a spoon.
–Fish Sticks– Fish is a nutritious and delicious sea-meat. And kids love eating fish sticks. The only problem is that the breading on the sticks is very high in carbs. We recommend preparing your own homemade fish sticks. Grab a slab of cod and cut it into sticks. If sushi grade, serve raw. Otherwise, microwave for seven minutes. Serve with a Keto condiment like mustard, hot sauce, or mayonnaise.
Intermittent Fasting and Kids
Intermittent fasting is a very powerful weight loss tool which is also typically reserved for adults. But it is also effective for kids. While many approaches exist, the simplest is the so-called 16:8 approach. 16 hours of fasting per day, and an 8 hour window in which one should eat. Combined with the Keto diet, it’s an unstoppable weight los tool. In our case, we don’t allow Robert to eat dinner. A keto breakfast of heavy cream and a slice of cheese is served at 5am, and exactly 8 hours later at 1pm he has a bunless hot dog or a (Not Quite) PB&J, which is basically a bowl of peanut butter.
Stephanie, myself and Robert (in this pic he looks a bit fat, but he’s lost more weight since then)
Robert has managed to keep the weight off. He is now 10 years old and weighs 50 pounds. He looks great and feels even better. He is filled with the energy and vivacity that only a child could have, but without all of the toxic garbage that most kids eat corrupting his body. The intermittent fasting, ketogenic diet, and caloric restriction (800 calories per day) have made him into the intelligent, attractive and healthy child that he was born to be.
Don’t be A Fool; only homeschool
Is it any coincidence that our orphanages are filled to the brim? Many parents cannot deal with the embarrassment of having a fat child and other than murdering their child, adoption is the only reasonable option for getting rid of it.
Some parents (many of whom are themselves fat) send their fat kids into the school system to expose their bad habits to in-shape kids. It is of the utmost importance to exclusively homeschool your child so that they are not exposed to sugar, ice cream, soda, bread, crackers or any of the other carb-rich foods that fat children are undoubtedly carrying to school in their lunch boxes.
Homeschooling has many advantages. The curriculum you design for your child will prevent them from learning many of the farcical ‘truths’ that are presented as orthodoxy in most schools. For example, in a recent poll, 96% of Pennsylvania school teachers said that they believe vaccines do not cause autism. Of course, people are entitled to their own opinions, but when they are teaching our children we do not want these (frankly wrong) opinions to be exposed to our kids.
It goes without saying that most school do not provide satisfying Keto options in the cafeteria.
When you homeschool your child, you will also have far more control of the isolation time-outs which are so important in shaping their behaviors.
Isolation Time Outs
I cannot stress the importance of isolation time outs enough. Of course, they teach the child to do as they are told, but they serve another function which is perhaps more important. It is necessary for the child to get used to being alone. Our Robert looks out the window sometimes and sees the other children in our neighborhood playing with each other. He used to complain, until we put him in isolation time outs when he did. He didn’t understand it then, but if he is around other kids, who are almost certainly not practicing a keto diet, he will be tempted and perhaps pressured into eating carbohydrates which could make him fat.
Child in properly positioned isolation time out
The truth is, we want to be in complete control of our kids for their entire lives. Society, for good reason, doesn’t allow this. But it’s important to exercise your power and control over the child while you can in order to instill good habits in them. I’ve known too many parents, even some who practiced Keto, that allowed their children to mingle with non-keto kids. Can you guess what happened next? Sugar addiction, weight gain and nonstop crying were just the beginning for these poor parents. I can’t imagine how many isolation time outs they had to put their child in before he calmed down. When you let your child be around other kids who tempt them with carbs, they exit Ketosis. Getting them back into ketosis will then create the dreaded “keto flu.” Your child will suffer from headaches, anxiety, diarrhea and sleep deprivation as they transition back into ketosis. Is it really worth all of that just to allow the child to mingle with other children?
Pro Tip: A healthy regiment of isolation time outs must always be carried out in a space that is fit for sensory deprivation. Don’t send your child to a room with toys, windows, etc.
How to Deal with Kids
Dealing with the stress of child-rearing often requires external stimulus. There’s nothing more rewarding than being a parent, but it’s also the hardest job in the world. Sometimes it’s important to treat yourself to a tall drink to deal with all the stress little Robert has caused. It should be noted that many alcoholic drinks are extremely high in carbohydrates. Any beer and wine should be avoided at all costs. Many love the sweet taste of pina coladas and margaritas, but these are simply not Keto-Friendly. The great news is that all hard liquors lose their carbohydrate content in the distillation process. So if you want to have a shot of bourbon, rye, tequila or vodka while your child is in a lengthy isolation time out, it’s absolutely ok to do so! Just be aware that most juices and mixers that are standard ingredients in the cocktails we love will not work. Do be warned that alcohol should only be consumed in moderation. It has lots of calories and can be habit forming.
(Not So Twisted) Tea-Twisted Tea used to be one of my favorite drinks before I went Keto. Now I know the dark truth..one 12 oz serving has 31g of carbohydrates. That’s a definite NO from me. Instead purchase some unsweetened tea and pour in a jigger of vodka.
High Ball– The High Ball is naturally Keto Friendly and tastes great! Just combine some seltzer water and your favorite bourbon. Spritz in some bitters to give it even more kick!
MoKeto– Who doesn’t love a mojito? Folks practicing keto don’t! because it’s loaded with sugar and carbs. Instead try my proprietary MoKeto. A jigger of rum, ice, lemon-lime seltzer water and a stick of sugar free mint gum crushed together in a blender is just as good as a traditional mojito but completely keto friendly.
The wisdom offered in this book is unfortunately rather controversial. Mainstream medicine rejects the notion that children should be starved of carbohydrates. But we must keep in mind that the Keto diet was in fact created for children with epilepsy! The sad truth is that while we can shield our child from the outside world through homeschooling and social isolation, they are bound to interact with friends and family at times. If they let these people know that they are being fed Keto only, it may be considered controversial. It is not, however, controversial to tell people that your child suffers from epilepsy. No one will question it. If you find yourself being criticized for forcing your child into the Keto lifestyle, have a backup story prepared about the child’s history with seizures and how helpful Keto has been. My father, Moshe C. Bragg, Sr., always taught me that honesty was the best policy. So it hurts to tell a lie. But in this case, it’s absolutely necessary. Show your child videos of people having seizures. Instruct them to learn how to realistically mimic the symptoms of a seizure. It doesn’t have to be spot on. As long as the person they fake it in front of is not a doctor, they won’t know the difference.
It’s happy hour. You’ve just downed your third beer and you get the phone call! The company you’ve dreamed of working for has asked that you come in for a job interview! Now it’s REALLY Happy Hour! You can’t suppress your excitement! But then it slowly sinks in that you’ll have to be interrogated by a team that may dislike you before you are guaranteed the job. Your happiness quickly turns to fear and now you don’t know what to do. But worry not, this easy-to-follow guide will help you ace ANY job interview.
1. Time is on your Side!
William Shakespeare wisely stated that “[A person is] Better three hours too soon than 1 minute too late.” While I don’t suggest getting to your interview three hours early, I do want to stress how important timeliness is. You need to create a good impression with your prospective boss, and prove that you care about getting to work on time. For this reason, I recommend taking an Uber or Taxi to your interview. If you drive, you risk being pulled over and receiving a DUI if you are a day drinker. If this happens, you’ll miss your interview all together!
2. So Fresh and So Clean
Nothing’s worse than a hangover…except a hangover on the day of your big job interview! If you’ve got all the telltale signs of a night of binge drinking (headache, vomiting), then do yourself a favor and take a shot. The ‘hair of the dog’ technique helps ease hangover symptoms and will get you feeling fresh and ready to talk shop with your prospective employer.
3. Don’t Let the Board Room Become a Shake Shack
If you’re like me and suffer from alcoholism, you know the awful feelings bought on by withdrawal. One of the most obvious symptoms to outsiders are the shakes. If you step into the interview without having your morning drink and are shakey, they will suspect you of being an alcoholic and deny you the job. On top of that you’ll be feeling nervous, irritable and uncomofrtable. It is best to take prophylactic measures and drink just before the interview to avoid the shakes. If you’re concerned about the smell of alcohol on your breath, chew on a mint or say that you’ve been using a rather strong mouthwash.
4. The Trouble With Job History
Most people who are looking for new jobs were fired from their previous jobs. Often, this is because of alcoholism. People who drink a lot tend to miss out on work from being frequently hungover. They need to maintain a job in order to get the money to buy more drinks, but they have a hard time keeping at it. When the subject of your previous employers comes up during the interview, make sure to lie and claim that you left of your own volition because the position wasn’t challenging enough. If they like you and ask for references, provide the phone number of a friend or relative to claim they were your employer and give you a dazzling, 5 star reference!
5. Easing Nervous Tension
Don’t become distressed at the prospect of not having alcohol by your side during the interview. Typically, these meetings last only an hour. You can nip at the mini bottle of Jack in your jacket pocket in the bathroom right after the interview ends.
When your interview gets to casual talk about your life and hobbies, avoid mentioning alcohol or binge drinking. Just talk about other things you’re interested in. If they confront you about your drinking, deny the extent of your abuse and claim that you only have 1-2 drinks per day.
Follow these 5 steps and you stand to ace the interview, and get the job of your dreams!
5 Steps to Finding Love and Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
By Dr. Wilford Samuelson, PhD
“All You Need Is Love” as the Beatles famously stated in their hit song of the same name. This song is both popular and the defacto credo of the human race. Everyone wants to be loved in various ways. Platonic, familial and romantic are the three types of loves most people hope to achieve. Family and platonic loves are simple because you’re born with family, and unless you have a bad family the love will be automatic. But how can one achieve romantic love, which unlike familial love may involve physical and sexual experiences? Read this guide to find the 5 steps you must take to find and maintain Romantic Love!
Step 1: Find a Partner
In order to be in a romantic relationship, you must first find a partner who agrees to be with you. This is often a person of the opposite sex, but if you are gay it could be someone of the same sex. Finding that special someone is not easy! There are many people who are very ugly that you would not want to be with. On top of that, some people that you find hot may not think you are attractive. And even if you do find someone that you share a mutual attraction with, they might have other bad qualities, such as being criminals, or very boring. It is very tricky and hard to find the right person, but luckily computer technology has made it much simpler, through dating apps like OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Bumble and Tinder. These sites allow you to see pictures of the person to see if they’re hot. That way you will already know if you think they’re hot when you meet them. It also shows you some of their interests and things about them, so you get to know their personality and find out if they are a good or bad person.
Step 2:Find Your Pleasure Points
One part of many happy relationships is physical (sexual) activity between two people, as opposed to just one person masturbating. But finding the best way to have good (or hopefully great) sex with your partner can be difficult. Being overweight, having erectile dysfunction or being dirty and having bad hygiene can all play a role in making it even more difficult to turn on your partner.
The best thing you can do is to make the mood hot and steamy with some pornography. If you don’t already have one, purchase a flat screen TV and put it in your bedroom. When you are ready to have sex with your partner, play the porno. That way if your partner is not hot, or you don’t like them, you can still be turned on by the pornographic actors.
Step 3: Quality Time
When it comes to love, the time spent together is about quality, not quantity. In other words, if you can only spend one GREAT hour with your partner in a month, that’s much better than spending 3 hours with your partner that are boring and not good. Find things you both love to do together. This can include anything from boating, to sailing, snorkeling or going to the park. Use your imagination. Experiment to find the perfect together-time activities. Many couples love going to the movies and sharing a bucket of popcorn over a romantic comedy. Other couples who are music-lovers enjoy attending concerts. Many gay couples enjoy going to gay bars, or watching gay films.
Step 4: Protect Your Partner from Competition
One of the toughest parts about staying together is making sure your partner is not exposed to other people who are better than you. If this happens they may leave you for the other person, and you’ll have to start over again. But it’s difficult to keep a watchful eye over your partner when they have a job or attend school and leave the house for hours at a time. It is best to encourage them to find a job where they can work from home so that you can always make sure they are locked inside and when they do want to leave you can go with them.
Step 5: Break Up to Make Up
If, in the unfortunate event that your partner is no longer hot, or is a bad person, you must break up, that’s ok. There are Plenty of Fish in the ocean (and on PlentyOfFish.com). Find another person who better suits your tastes. Breaking up is not easy, but it’s easier than maintaining a relationship with someone who is fat, unattractive or weird. “Nip it at the bud” to borrow a phrase from gardening. If you decide you didn’t want to break up, you can always get back together with that person later, if they still like you.
Have you always wanted to be in charge of your own team of high-powered lawyers? Do you want to see your name in law firm advertisements? Well today is your lucky day. This easy guide to creating a law firm is for both burgeoning law enthusiasts as well as experienced lawyers.
1. Law Degree
The first step to starting a law firm is to get a law degree. If you’ve already got a law degree, you can move on to the next step.
Before starting a high-powered law firm, you’ll need to become a lawyer, which requires getting a degree in law. There are hundreds of great law schools to choose from, but which one is right for you? I recommend Temple University in Philadelphia, PA or Harvard Law School near Boston, Massachusetts. But any law school will do the trick.
Law school takes approximately 3 years and is alot of work! Once you finish it you’ll need to pass the BAR exam as well. I know you’re thinking that this is going to be overwhelmingly difficult, but fear not. It will all be worth it in the end, when your law firm gets off the ground.
2. Location, Location, Location
Once you are a lawyer, you are well on your way to starting the law firm of your dreams. You went through the hassle of law school, and now it’s time to start putting your name in lights. But you can’t build a law firm just anywhere! Choose the hottest area in your city or town to build your credentials. Potential customers will be turned off if your law firm is in a boring or non-descript location.
Find the trendiest, and most unique part of your town to buy up property in. So for example, if I were a New Yorker, I’d try to build my law firm in Times Square. It is a high-traffic area and makes your firm very visible to thousands of people every day, many of whom will need legal services at some point in their lives.
You can start preparing for this step while you’re still in law school. Take walks to your ideal law firm location and keep an eye out for “For Sale” signs on any buildings.
3. Money Management
Creating a law firm isn’t cheap. Between the costs of licensing, fees, certifications law school tuition and other random costs, making your dream a reality can cost a pretty penny. But worry not. Now that you’re a lawyer, you can take on some easy cases as you start to get your law firm together, just to save up some extra money.
If you’d like to make a little more on nights or weekends, why not try driving for Uber or Lyft? It’s a great way to make some extra income in your spare time.
4. Cultivate Your Dream Team
Your law firm, while it may have your name on it, is not just about you. Law firms are comprised of teams of great lawyers. Start building that team now. Start with some of your law school colleagues who have passed the BAR. You know off the bat that they are good lawyers.
Be social: when you are at public events and gatherings ask around for who the lawyers are in the room. If you meet someone that you think has what it takes to be part of your law firm, ask them to join.
Another powerful tool is social media. Go on LinkedIn and find lawyers on there. On Facebook, search for friends who have “Lawyer” listed on their Intro tab.
5. All Press is Good Press
People find the lawyers they love through word-of-mouth. But how can your firm get a word-of-mouth reputation without much experience under your belt? The answer is simple: take on a high-profile case pro bono (in legal terms, that means free of charge to the client). Stay abreast of current events. Look in the local newspaper for criminal cases involving heinous violence or sex, and try to reach out to the perpetrators. If you know any celebrities caught up in criminal activities, ask to represent them. It’s worth a shot. And if you offer to do it pro bono, your chances are even greater.
Starting a law firm is no walk in the park. But using this guide, it just got a whole lot easier to start building the law firm of your dreams.