So, you want to sound like the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on a budget? Not so easy to do. Not only is their music very difficult to play, the gear John Frusciante and other people in the band use is very expensive to purchase! Even when John Frusiciante wasn’t in the band and the Josh guitarist took his place his gear was very expensive. This can be very disappointing for the up and coming funk-rock player.
Luckily, with this guide, you can learn how to achieve the funk-rock sound of the RHCP band without all the hassle of purchasing an extremely expensive gear rig.
Get a guitar
On RHCP songs such as “Califronication” and “Give it Away” John achieves great tone through the use of his expensive gear such as a Fender Stratocaster and a Vox AC30 amplifier. These items are way too pricey for the guitarist on a budget to afford. Cumulatively these items could cost as much as $600, which is too much money for the guitarist on a budget. Luckily all guitars sound the same. The difference is just in the look of it. So why not go for something a little more affordable?
Let’s face it, rock music is a loud genre. So you’ll need an amp to get loud with, just like John Frusciante would do. But the prices of amps these days will force you to live “Under the Bridge” for months because you will not be able to make your rent payments if you purchase one. Luckily there are some great affordable models available on the market today.
I can’t say enough good things about this ZoWeeTek Headphone Amp. It is nice way to hear the excellent rock sounds your guitar is making without waking up parents, neighbors and lovers. At the very cheap price of $29, it costs alot less than the John Frusciante amps, but it doesn’t disappoint. In fact, for the price point it is far superior to the overpriced, heavy and loud rigs that John uses.
Red Hot Chilli Pedals
Mr. Frusciante along with Josh, the other guy, use a plethora of extremely cool pedals to achieve the sound that they worked for. This includes Digitech Whammys, Electro Harmonix MicroSynthesizers and many other cool pedals. In fact, if you watch the Rig Rundown video of Josh, he has so many that they are on multiple boards and a British man was hired to go on tour just to manage all the pedals.
While it’s undoubtedly very cool to have such a big pedalboard with so many pedals, it’s impossible to afford for the funk rock guitarist on a budget. In order to make enough money to afford those pedals, you need to already be a famous rock star. But how do you get famous as a rock star without the pedals? Up to now this has been the Catch-22 of budding guitar heroes.
We have talked about the ammoon PockRock ad nauseum on this site. Well, sorry to sound like a broken record, but this is the be all and end all of multi-effect pedals. Featuring 5 effect modules, this unit has everything you need to sound like both John Frusciante and Josh. And at $35, it is way cheaper than spending the hundreds of dollars on pedals that John Frusicante does.
Know Your Role
Flea, who plays bass with the Chilli Peppers, is in very good shape even though he is old. He often shows his bare chest and exposes that he has been working out. His cool rock guy tattoos shine nicely on his muscular frame. The same goes for the singer guy, Anthony. John Frusciante (and Josh) probably also work out. They are more thin in build, which is a very sexy look for some people. You’re not going to emulate the Chilli Peppers by being fat or normal. You need to have big muscles or be very skinny. But who has the time or money for a gym membership?
Another great way to lose weight is through the Keto Diet. There are a plethora of great books on how to lose weight fast using this revolutionary fat-based diet that encourages exclusive consumption of bacon, whipped cream and butter. My favorite is Keto for Kids by Dr. Moshe C. Bragge.
It is well known that the Chilli Peppers dabbled in Heroin, a very dangerous substance. It won’t be easy to emulate the Chilli Peppers without an intoxicant, but who wants the hassle of buying illegal heroin and fostering an expensive and unhealthy addiction? That’s why I reccomend CBD Gummies, which can be purchased on Amazon.com! Chew on these neat Gummies before practice, during a gig, or any time you’re just rocking out to become a truly intoxicated Chilli Pepper!
So you want to sound like indie rocker Weyes Blood? Achieving her rock sound is no easy feat, as her sounds are very hard to achieve. The core of her rock music tones involves very expensive music gear, such as big pianos, expensive guitars and other very costly items. Sounding like Weyes Blood is not possible for the musician on a budget, however with this guide it is now completely possible!
Acquire a Guitar
Weyes Blood makes her rock music often using a piano. While this may seem like an strange instrument to use for a rock musician, it is actually a very common instrument for many rockers such as Elton John. Don’t forget, her music sounds like it’s old, but it is actually newly made (within the last 5 years). But sometimes she also plays a guitar such as in this video of her performing her one song Andromeda:
So in order to sound like her, you should purchase a guitar. In this video she’s using a very expensive old brown wooden guitar. This item would be too expensive for the guitarist on a budget. Luckily all guitars sound the same and the main difference is in the way they look .
The Mugig Red guitar even includes a pitch pipe! This is a essential item. Weyes Blood has a very beautiful voice which always stays in tune with the song she is playing. A pitch pipe is necessary to keep your Mugig guitar in tune so the singing won’t get bad. Simply blow on the pipe and find the note that should be there, and then change it on the guitar to be that note.
Why not try out the Electro-Harmonix Mel9? It makes the guitar sound like an old keyboard from the 70s. Because WEyes Blood makes old 70s sounding music, it is the perfect tool for achieving Weyes Blood style of music without breaking the bank.
Many people have noticed that Weyes Blood, Natalie, has a good voice. While this is a god given talent for her, it is possible to train yourself to also have a good voice. Just get this book, “Sing Like a Star” by Diane Hall. It is available only on Amazon Kindle, so get a Kindle if you want to read it.
The book is great because it contains all the tips on how to sound like Weyes Blood by making your voice good. It is also a Best Seller, so that shows how good the book is.
It is not easy to sound like Weyes Blood, but with this guide, it just got a whole lot easier.
It goes without saying that as parents we love our children unconditionally. When my Robert was born it was the happiest day of my life. I didn’t know that degrees of ecstasy like this could exist. Robert was a beautiful healthy baby who emerged from his mother’s body weighing a completely standard 6 pounds. My wife Stephanie and I couldn’t believe the immensely beautiful creature we had brought into the world.
Robert at birth, healthy weight
We were overjoyed and overwhelmed with warm feelings of love…that is until Robert hit the dreaded ‘terrible twos.’ For us, the terrible twos weren’t terrible because of misbehavior, tantrums or crying. They were terrible because our Robert was beginning to get chubby and lose that slim, healthy façade we had grown to love so much. While my love for Robert was not diminished, I have to admit I was disappointed in the idea of having a fat child. You see, I have always been very slim and fit so I had no idea how to deal with problems related to being overweight or obese. It was around this time that I began researching dieting methods. I was completely unfamiliar with all of the phoney, false and outright wrong dieting techniques that are advertised regularly. And I was shocked and outraged to say the least.
Robert at 2,still cute but morbidly obese
It was my complete naivety that allowed me to adequately develop the system that you are going to learn about. The Keto diet is the latest craze in weight loss, but up until now it has been exclusively recommended for adults (currently the medical establishment only recommends a Keto diet for children who suffer from epilepsy…more on that later). So, what is the Keto Diet? Will my child lose weight on this diet? Won’t my child have to suffer and sacrifice eating the foods they love? Read on to find out all this and more! It could be the life-saving tool that you need to keep your child skinny forever! Obesity is an epidemic that threatens ruin the very fabric of our society. Do what you can to prevent it from infecting those that you love the most.
Much like the infamous Atkins diet, the Keto diet is a low-carb, high-fat diet. By cutting out carbs you force your body into a state of Ketosis. While in the ketogenic state, your body will begin to use fats as fuels. It is great for losing weight rapidly without sacrificing many of the delicious flavors you know and love. One study found that people on a ketogenic diet lost 2.2 times more weight than those on a calorie-restricted low-fat diet.
One of the complexities of the Keto diet is knowing exactly which food items have carbohydrates and which do not. All meats are low in carbs, as is heavy cream, cheese, avocados. But foods such as breads, nachos and sugars must be avoided at all costs. Even most fruits which we know and love are not to be eaten on the Ketogenic diet. Many vegetables are also restricted. A quick google search will tell you all you need to know about which foods you can eat…and which you can’t.
So that’s Keto in a nutshell. But how can we design a Keto meal plan for kids that works? Read on to find out.
Keto for Newborns
It is important to start your kids on Keto at a very, very early age…namely, the moment they are born. It would be a shame if you made the same mistake that Stephanie and I made with our Robert. One common misconception parents have is that breast milk is good for the child. This couldn’t be further from the truth. One cup of breast milk has 17 grams of carbohydrates, which is more carbs than are recommended for an ADULT on the Keto diet. Don’t bother yourself with the hassle and utter embarrassment of breastfeeding your baby high-carb liquid poison. As a great, keto-friendly alternative feed your baby heavy cream. It is available at any grocery store, it tastes great and is extremely low in carbs. Mainstream medical establishment doctors recommend feeding newborns breast milk exclusively for their first six months. This is an acceptable length of time to feed your child heavy cream exclusively. Once the child reaches 6 months and starts eating solids you can make quick and easy Keto friendly baby foods by mashing together common Keto ingredients into delicious pastes… use your imagination to create combinations. The babies are too young to communicate their preferences verbally, so really it could be anything…avocado, bacon, cream, cheese, asparagus, pork. It’s up to you. They will not be able to protest the way older children do.
Keto for Toddlers
As your little ones begin to grow they will develop their own taste in foods and drink. You will begin to learn which foods they love and which they don’t care for. There are a few common misconceptions that parents raising their kids have about exactly which items are Keto friendly. Don’t get caught in the trap! Kids seem to universally love a very specific condiment which is a Keto Dieter’s nightmare: Ketchup. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstances feed your child ketchup. One tablespoon of Heinz ketchup has 5 grams of carbohydrates, which is far more than a Keto Baby should have in one day. Once they have the taste of ketchup on their impressionable lips, they will want it again and again. When they learn to talk they will complain incessantly about wanting ketchup. It’s enough to drive any sane person mad.
Our Robert spent his first few years eating Ketchup. When we transitioned him to a more Keto Friendly condiment (hot sauce), he cried nonstop for weeks. It was not only loud and annoying but also extremely pathetic. It was a sad sight to see. I blame myself for feeding him ketchup during his developmental years. With the help of a therapist and extremely frequent isolation time-outs we were able to teach Robert that Ketchup would no longer be a part of his diet.
So how can you avoid these complicated fixes? To start off, never give your childketchup. Toddlers will love a fresh and warm hot dog served with no bun and doused in mustard. If they want a red condiment, hot sauce is a great option. Robert loves his bun-less hot dogs with a bit of mustard and hot sauce.
The Most Toxic Poison
Children are known to love one of the most toxic poisons known to man. It transforms little ones from angelic innocents into obese and cherubic ne’er-do-wells. What is this poison? SUGAR!
Sugar is extremely high in carbohydrates, yet many of the foods children love are chock full of sugar. Clearly the manufacturers of these foods did not have a keto diet in mind, and did not care about the health and physical appearance of all the poor children who now have to suffer with obese and grotesque figures.
Practically every treat that kids love contains loads of sugar; sodas, popsicles, lollipops, candy bars, ice cream are just a few of them. So how can we keep our kids from eating these poisons that will undoubtedly make them fat and unappealing in adult life?
If you bake your child a keto birthday cake (remember, no wheat), make sure to use erythitrol instead of sugar. It is a type of sugar alcohol, which tastes 80% as sweet as sugar but does not metabolize carbs.
Avoiding sugar is the first line of defense in any child keto diet. The following pages are some great Keto meal plans.
Delectable Keto Snacks
One of the great pleasures of childhood is enjoying a good snack. But the sad truth is that most snacks are not Keto friendly.
Here are some simple, easy and delicious Keto-friendly snacks that your kid could will go nuts for:
-String Cheese: All kids love a good stick of string cheese. The great news? It’s naturally keto friendly!
–Meat Sticks: Meat sticks are delicious and available almost everywhere. Slim Jims are a yummy spiced meat blend which kids will not complain about!
-(No Cookies) Cup of Cream: Traditional wisdom says kids love milk and cookies. It goes without saying that cookies are out of the question because of the wheat and sugar, and milk is high in carbs. Why not go for a glass of heavy cream? It is rich, delicious and has a sweet aftertaste that kids will almost certainly prefer to cookies. Stir in some coconut milk and a hint of vanilla extract and BAM, your kids are instantaneously transported to an exotic island of flavors!
-Pork Rinds: It may come as a surprise, but pork rinds are 100% keto-friendly, kid-tested and mother approved.
-Deli Meats: Another great snack is ¼ pound of cold cuts. Almost any variety is perfectly keto friendly so it is up to the taste buds and discretion of the child.
–Diet Coke pops: Kids love popsicles, but they are always full of high-carb sugar. Why not make your own popsicles at home with Diet Coke? Simply fill an ice cube tray with Diet Coke, freeze, and give the frozen cubes to your kids. Robert especially loves these cubes on a hot summer day.
-(Better than Ice) Cream Cheese Sandwich: Cream Cheese is 100% keto and 200% delicious. It’s also solid when cold, but melty and viscous when exposed to heat, much like ice cream. Stick a smidge of cream cheese between two Keto Friendly Fat Based Snack Bars (available for purchase on Amazon). It’s just as good, if not better, than any ice cream sandwich.
SNACKS TO AVOID
It’s sad to say, but many of the foods we were told had great nutritional value are in fact a Ketogenic Nightmare. Do not, under any circumstances give your kids any of the following:
If you want to keep your child slim and trim, the following lunches will have them watering at the mouth while maintaining their ketosis:
-(Not Quite) PB&J- What child doesn’t love the perennial classic peanut butter and jelly? It’s simple, easy and delicious! The only problem? The bread and jelly are chock full of pesky carbohydrates, which will quickly kick your child out of ketosis and make them fat and undesirable. The good news is that organic peanut butter is actually quite keto friendly, with just 2g of net carbs per tablespoon. The PB is undoubtedly the most delicious part of a PB&J sandwich, so why not have it by itself? Simply scoop several tablespoons of organic peanut butter into a bowl and feed it to your child with a spoon.
–(Not Quite Macaroni)and Cheese-Kraft Mac and Cheese has been a staple of children’s cuisine for decades. It tastes great at any time of day–and is actually quite ok on the keto diet…if you subtract the macaroni. The powdered orange cheese and the added cream alone are fine–and the only components with flavor. Simply discard the flavorless macaroni from the box and prepare the orange powder and milk. Serve in a bowl with a spoon.
–Fish Sticks– Fish is a nutritious and delicious sea-meat. And kids love eating fish sticks. The only problem is that the breading on the sticks is very high in carbs. We recommend preparing your own homemade fish sticks. Grab a slab of cod and cut it into sticks. If sushi grade, serve raw. Otherwise, microwave for seven minutes. Serve with a Keto condiment like mustard, hot sauce, or mayonnaise.
Intermittent Fasting and Kids
Intermittent fasting is a very powerful weight loss tool which is also typically reserved for adults. But it is also effective for kids. While many approaches exist, the simplest is the so-called 16:8 approach. 16 hours of fasting per day, and an 8 hour window in which one should eat. Combined with the Keto diet, it’s an unstoppable weight los tool. In our case, we don’t allow Robert to eat dinner. A keto breakfast of heavy cream and a slice of cheese is served at 5am, and exactly 8 hours later at 1pm he has a bunless hot dog or a (Not Quite) PB&J, which is basically a bowl of peanut butter.
Stephanie, myself and Robert (in this pic he looks a bit fat, but he’s lost more weight since then)
Robert has managed to keep the weight off. He is now 10 years old and weighs 50 pounds. He looks great and feels even better. He is filled with the energy and vivacity that only a child could have, but without all of the toxic garbage that most kids eat corrupting his body. The intermittent fasting, ketogenic diet, and caloric restriction (800 calories per day) have made him into the intelligent, attractive and healthy child that he was born to be.
Don’t be A Fool; only homeschool
Is it any coincidence that our orphanages are filled to the brim? Many parents cannot deal with the embarrassment of having a fat child and other than murdering their child, adoption is the only reasonable option for getting rid of it.
Some parents (many of whom are themselves fat) send their fat kids into the school system to expose their bad habits to in-shape kids. It is of the utmost importance to exclusively homeschool your child so that they are not exposed to sugar, ice cream, soda, bread, crackers or any of the other carb-rich foods that fat children are undoubtedly carrying to school in their lunch boxes.
Homeschooling has many advantages. The curriculum you design for your child will prevent them from learning many of the farcical ‘truths’ that are presented as orthodoxy in most schools. For example, in a recent poll, 96% of Pennsylvania school teachers said that they believe vaccines do not cause autism. Of course, people are entitled to their own opinions, but when they are teaching our children we do not want these (frankly wrong) opinions to be exposed to our kids.
It goes without saying that most school do not provide satisfying Keto options in the cafeteria.
When you homeschool your child, you will also have far more control of the isolation time-outs which are so important in shaping their behaviors.
Isolation Time Outs
I cannot stress the importance of isolation time outs enough. Of course, they teach the child to do as they are told, but they serve another function which is perhaps more important. It is necessary for the child to get used to being alone. Our Robert looks out the window sometimes and sees the other children in our neighborhood playing with each other. He used to complain, until we put him in isolation time outs when he did. He didn’t understand it then, but if he is around other kids, who are almost certainly not practicing a keto diet, he will be tempted and perhaps pressured into eating carbohydrates which could make him fat.
Child in properly positioned isolation time out
The truth is, we want to be in complete control of our kids for their entire lives. Society, for good reason, doesn’t allow this. But it’s important to exercise your power and control over the child while you can in order to instill good habits in them. I’ve known too many parents, even some who practiced Keto, that allowed their children to mingle with non-keto kids. Can you guess what happened next? Sugar addiction, weight gain and nonstop crying were just the beginning for these poor parents. I can’t imagine how many isolation time outs they had to put their child in before he calmed down. When you let your child be around other kids who tempt them with carbs, they exit Ketosis. Getting them back into ketosis will then create the dreaded “keto flu.” Your child will suffer from headaches, anxiety, diarrhea and sleep deprivation as they transition back into ketosis. Is it really worth all of that just to allow the child to mingle with other children?
Pro Tip: A healthy regiment of isolation time outs must always be carried out in a space that is fit for sensory deprivation. Don’t send your child to a room with toys, windows, etc.
How to Deal with Kids
Dealing with the stress of child-rearing often requires external stimulus. There’s nothing more rewarding than being a parent, but it’s also the hardest job in the world. Sometimes it’s important to treat yourself to a tall drink to deal with all the stress little Robert has caused. It should be noted that many alcoholic drinks are extremely high in carbohydrates. Any beer and wine should be avoided at all costs. Many love the sweet taste of pina coladas and margaritas, but these are simply not Keto-Friendly. The great news is that all hard liquors lose their carbohydrate content in the distillation process. So if you want to have a shot of bourbon, rye, tequila or vodka while your child is in a lengthy isolation time out, it’s absolutely ok to do so! Just be aware that most juices and mixers that are standard ingredients in the cocktails we love will not work. Do be warned that alcohol should only be consumed in moderation. It has lots of calories and can be habit forming.
(Not So Twisted) Tea-Twisted Tea used to be one of my favorite drinks before I went Keto. Now I know the dark truth..one 12 oz serving has 31g of carbohydrates. That’s a definite NO from me. Instead purchase some unsweetened tea and pour in a jigger of vodka.
High Ball– The High Ball is naturally Keto Friendly and tastes great! Just combine some seltzer water and your favorite bourbon. Spritz in some bitters to give it even more kick!
MoKeto– Who doesn’t love a mojito? Folks practicing keto don’t! because it’s loaded with sugar and carbs. Instead try my proprietary MoKeto. A jigger of rum, ice, lemon-lime seltzer water and a stick of sugar free mint gum crushed together in a blender is just as good as a traditional mojito but completely keto friendly.
The wisdom offered in this book is unfortunately rather controversial. Mainstream medicine rejects the notion that children should be starved of carbohydrates. But we must keep in mind that the Keto diet was in fact created for children with epilepsy! The sad truth is that while we can shield our child from the outside world through homeschooling and social isolation, they are bound to interact with friends and family at times. If they let these people know that they are being fed Keto only, it may be considered controversial. It is not, however, controversial to tell people that your child suffers from epilepsy. No one will question it. If you find yourself being criticized for forcing your child into the Keto lifestyle, have a backup story prepared about the child’s history with seizures and how helpful Keto has been. My father, Moshe C. Bragg, Sr., always taught me that honesty was the best policy. So it hurts to tell a lie. But in this case, it’s absolutely necessary. Show your child videos of people having seizures. Instruct them to learn how to realistically mimic the symptoms of a seizure. It doesn’t have to be spot on. As long as the person they fake it in front of is not a doctor, they won’t know the difference.
It’s happy hour. You’ve just downed your third beer and you get the phone call! The company you’ve dreamed of working for has asked that you come in for a job interview! Now it’s REALLY Happy Hour! You can’t suppress your excitement! But then it slowly sinks in that you’ll have to be interrogated by a team that may dislike you before you are guaranteed the job. Your happiness quickly turns to fear and now you don’t know what to do. But worry not, this easy-to-follow guide will help you ace ANY job interview.
1. Time is on your Side!
William Shakespeare wisely stated that “[A person is] Better three hours too soon than 1 minute too late.” While I don’t suggest getting to your interview three hours early, I do want to stress how important timeliness is. You need to create a good impression with your prospective boss, and prove that you care about getting to work on time. For this reason, I recommend taking an Uber or Taxi to your interview. If you drive, you risk being pulled over and receiving a DUI if you are a day drinker. If this happens, you’ll miss your interview all together!
2. So Fresh and So Clean
Nothing’s worse than a hangover…except a hangover on the day of your big job interview! If you’ve got all the telltale signs of a night of binge drinking (headache, vomiting), then do yourself a favor and take a shot. The ‘hair of the dog’ technique helps ease hangover symptoms and will get you feeling fresh and ready to talk shop with your prospective employer.
3. Don’t Let the Board Room Become a Shake Shack
If you’re like me and suffer from alcoholism, you know the awful feelings bought on by withdrawal. One of the most obvious symptoms to outsiders are the shakes. If you step into the interview without having your morning drink and are shakey, they will suspect you of being an alcoholic and deny you the job. On top of that you’ll be feeling nervous, irritable and uncomofrtable. It is best to take prophylactic measures and drink just before the interview to avoid the shakes. If you’re concerned about the smell of alcohol on your breath, chew on a mint or say that you’ve been using a rather strong mouthwash.
4. The Trouble With Job History
Most people who are looking for new jobs were fired from their previous jobs. Often, this is because of alcoholism. People who drink a lot tend to miss out on work from being frequently hungover. They need to maintain a job in order to get the money to buy more drinks, but they have a hard time keeping at it. When the subject of your previous employers comes up during the interview, make sure to lie and claim that you left of your own volition because the position wasn’t challenging enough. If they like you and ask for references, provide the phone number of a friend or relative to claim they were your employer and give you a dazzling, 5 star reference!
5. Easing Nervous Tension
Don’t become distressed at the prospect of not having alcohol by your side during the interview. Typically, these meetings last only an hour. You can nip at the mini bottle of Jack in your jacket pocket in the bathroom right after the interview ends.
When your interview gets to casual talk about your life and hobbies, avoid mentioning alcohol or binge drinking. Just talk about other things you’re interested in. If they confront you about your drinking, deny the extent of your abuse and claim that you only have 1-2 drinks per day.
Follow these 5 steps and you stand to ace the interview, and get the job of your dreams!
5 Steps to Finding Love and Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
By Dr. Wilford Samuelson, PhD
“All You Need Is Love” as the Beatles famously stated in their hit song of the same name. This song is both popular and the defacto credo of the human race. Everyone wants to be loved in various ways. Platonic, familial and romantic are the three types of loves most people hope to achieve. Family and platonic loves are simple because you’re born with family, and unless you have a bad family the love will be automatic. But how can one achieve romantic love, which unlike familial love may involve physical and sexual experiences? Read this guide to find the 5 steps you must take to find and maintain Romantic Love!
Step 1: Find a Partner
In order to be in a romantic relationship, you must first find a partner who agrees to be with you. This is often a person of the opposite sex, but if you are gay it could be someone of the same sex. Finding that special someone is not easy! There are many people who are very ugly that you would not want to be with. On top of that, some people that you find hot may not think you are attractive. And even if you do find someone that you share a mutual attraction with, they might have other bad qualities, such as being criminals, or very boring. It is very tricky and hard to find the right person, but luckily computer technology has made it much simpler, through dating apps like OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Bumble and Tinder. These sites allow you to see pictures of the person to see if they’re hot. That way you will already know if you think they’re hot when you meet them. It also shows you some of their interests and things about them, so you get to know their personality and find out if they are a good or bad person.
Step 2:Find Your Pleasure Points
One part of many happy relationships is physical (sexual) activity between two people, as opposed to just one person masturbating. But finding the best way to have good (or hopefully great) sex with your partner can be difficult. Being overweight, having erectile dysfunction or being dirty and having bad hygiene can all play a role in making it even more difficult to turn on your partner.
The best thing you can do is to make the mood hot and steamy with some pornography. If you don’t already have one, purchase a flat screen TV and put it in your bedroom. When you are ready to have sex with your partner, play the porno. That way if your partner is not hot, or you don’t like them, you can still be turned on by the pornographic actors.
Step 3: Quality Time
When it comes to love, the time spent together is about quality, not quantity. In other words, if you can only spend one GREAT hour with your partner in a month, that’s much better than spending 3 hours with your partner that are boring and not good. Find things you both love to do together. This can include anything from boating, to sailing, snorkeling or going to the park. Use your imagination. Experiment to find the perfect together-time activities. Many couples love going to the movies and sharing a bucket of popcorn over a romantic comedy. Other couples who are music-lovers enjoy attending concerts. Many gay couples enjoy going to gay bars, or watching gay films.
Step 4: Protect Your Partner from Competition
One of the toughest parts about staying together is making sure your partner is not exposed to other people who are better than you. If this happens they may leave you for the other person, and you’ll have to start over again. But it’s difficult to keep a watchful eye over your partner when they have a job or attend school and leave the house for hours at a time. It is best to encourage them to find a job where they can work from home so that you can always make sure they are locked inside and when they do want to leave you can go with them.
Step 5: Break Up to Make Up
If, in the unfortunate event that your partner is no longer hot, or is a bad person, you must break up, that’s ok. There are Plenty of Fish in the ocean (and on PlentyOfFish.com). Find another person who better suits your tastes. Breaking up is not easy, but it’s easier than maintaining a relationship with someone who is fat, unattractive or weird. “Nip it at the bud” to borrow a phrase from gardening. If you decide you didn’t want to break up, you can always get back together with that person later, if they still like you.
Have you always wanted to be in charge of your own team of high-powered lawyers? Do you want to see your name in law firm advertisements? Well today is your lucky day. This easy guide to creating a law firm is for both burgeoning law enthusiasts as well as experienced lawyers.
1. Law Degree
The first step to starting a law firm is to get a law degree. If you’ve already got a law degree, you can move on to the next step.
Before starting a high-powered law firm, you’ll need to become a lawyer, which requires getting a degree in law. There are hundreds of great law schools to choose from, but which one is right for you? I recommend Temple University in Philadelphia, PA or Harvard Law School near Boston, Massachusetts. But any law school will do the trick.
Law school takes approximately 3 years and is alot of work! Once you finish it you’ll need to pass the BAR exam as well. I know you’re thinking that this is going to be overwhelmingly difficult, but fear not. It will all be worth it in the end, when your law firm gets off the ground.
2. Location, Location, Location
Once you are a lawyer, you are well on your way to starting the law firm of your dreams. You went through the hassle of law school, and now it’s time to start putting your name in lights. But you can’t build a law firm just anywhere! Choose the hottest area in your city or town to build your credentials. Potential customers will be turned off if your law firm is in a boring or non-descript location.
Find the trendiest, and most unique part of your town to buy up property in. So for example, if I were a New Yorker, I’d try to build my law firm in Times Square. It is a high-traffic area and makes your firm very visible to thousands of people every day, many of whom will need legal services at some point in their lives.
You can start preparing for this step while you’re still in law school. Take walks to your ideal law firm location and keep an eye out for “For Sale” signs on any buildings.
3. Money Management
Creating a law firm isn’t cheap. Between the costs of licensing, fees, certifications law school tuition and other random costs, making your dream a reality can cost a pretty penny. But worry not. Now that you’re a lawyer, you can take on some easy cases as you start to get your law firm together, just to save up some extra money.
If you’d like to make a little more on nights or weekends, why not try driving for Uber or Lyft? It’s a great way to make some extra income in your spare time.
4. Cultivate Your Dream Team
Your law firm, while it may have your name on it, is not just about you. Law firms are comprised of teams of great lawyers. Start building that team now. Start with some of your law school colleagues who have passed the BAR. You know off the bat that they are good lawyers.
Be social: when you are at public events and gatherings ask around for who the lawyers are in the room. If you meet someone that you think has what it takes to be part of your law firm, ask them to join.
Another powerful tool is social media. Go on LinkedIn and find lawyers on there. On Facebook, search for friends who have “Lawyer” listed on their Intro tab.
5. All Press is Good Press
People find the lawyers they love through word-of-mouth. But how can your firm get a word-of-mouth reputation without much experience under your belt? The answer is simple: take on a high-profile case pro bono (in legal terms, that means free of charge to the client). Stay abreast of current events. Look in the local newspaper for criminal cases involving heinous violence or sex, and try to reach out to the perpetrators. If you know any celebrities caught up in criminal activities, ask to represent them. It’s worth a shot. And if you offer to do it pro bono, your chances are even greater.
Starting a law firm is no walk in the park. But using this guide, it just got a whole lot easier to start building the law firm of your dreams.
It’s that time of year again! The second Monday of October is right around the corner, and that means it’s time for Canadian Thanksgiving, or Action de grâce as it’s called in Quebec. But who can deal with the hassle, stress and cost of a full Canadian Thanksgiving dinner?
This stress-free, easy guide will show you how to prepare an entire Canadian Thanksgiving feast using ingredients purchased exclusively at the Dollar Store. Feed your entire family for under $10 CAD and stay free from stress. People from provinces across the nation of Canada, from Manitoba to British Columbia will love these Great Canadian Dollar Store variations on Canadian classics! Don’t waste your hard earned paycheck on a hefty grocer’s bill from Loblaw’s…eat fresh, healthy and deliciously with these simple Great Canadian Dollar Store ingredients.
What Canadian Thanksgiving would be complete without a hot, piping pile of Stuffing? This Canadian Thanksgiving treat is made from old scraps of bread. But who has time to collect and cultivate old bread, chop up aged loaves and deal with the messy crumbs and cost prohibitive sauces and spices?
Here’s the easy dollar store solution!
Instead of chopping up old bread, why not use pre-chopped and aged breadcrumbs?
They are essentially the same thing as old bread chunks, but in a miniaturized version.
Take your breadcrumbs, dump them in a pan and pour in a container of Armour Vienna Sausages
These Sausage Bites are floating in Chicken Broth, which is an essential Stuffing Ingredient. The Yummy wieners will also spice up this Canadian Thanksgiving Classic. Traditionally, Stuffing calls for Onions and Celery. Why waste your time and money on fresh onions and celery, when you can buy Onion Powder and dump it right on?
The celery is a bit trickier. You will have to buy a can of Chicken Soup, and pull out the celery bits to add to the Stuffing. Many people (like myself) cannot stand the taste of celery, so I’ll skip this part. But if you do like Celery in Your Canadian Thanksgiving Stuffing, just grab a can of Healthy Choice Chicken with Rice Soup, pick out the pre-cooked Celery Chunks and sprinkle them on.
Now pre-heat your oven to 190 Celsius, bake for 35 minutes and voila! Canadian Thanksgiving Stuffing that’s just as good, if not better, than what you’d make using traditional ingredients, and at $4, who can beat it?
What You’ll Need
-1 package Seasoned Breadcrumbs
-1 can vienna sausages
-1 2 oz container onion powder
-1 can Chicken with Rice Soup (for celery) Optional
Pre-Heat Oven to 190 Celsius. DUmp all ingredients in pan. If celery is desired, pick from Chicken Soup can. Put in oven for 35 mintues.
Jellied Cranberry Sauce
My family can’t get enough of the traditional Canadian style Jellied Cranberry sauce. Nothing says Canadian Thanksgiving like a dollop of the Jellied Cran next to a steaming and fresh Turkey leg. Canada, in fact, is the world’s second-largest producer of this tart red fruit. But Jellying at home can be a nightmare. And unless you can afford to take time off work to travel to the annual Ontario Cranberry Harvest, good luck picking your own! Us Canucks love Cranberries so much that I’ve been to farms far too many times that have been picked clean, with not a single berry on the bush!
Luckily there’s no need to do all of that time consuming, expensive and DANGEROUS home jellying. Simply grab a can of Ruby Kist Jellied Cranberry Sauce. It tastes just like Grandma’s Canadian Jellied Sauces, but at this price point and convenience level, who can turn it down?
Turkey is the pièce de résistance, as the Québécois might call it, to any Canadian Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, Turkey is a bird that costs a pretty penny at Loblaw’s, and is not affordable on a budget.
So instead of buying one, why not hunt a wild turkey? Turkeys can be found milling about in the woods of eastern Ontario, southern Quebec and the southern-most parts of the four western provinces. So grab your shotgun and hitch a VIA Rail to one of those regions. Once you’ve made your kill, use these Dollar Store scissors (or ciseaux in Quebec) to cut all the feathers off of the bird.
Your Turkey should look just like a store-bought one now! AS long as you cut off the head and the feathers it will look like a clean grocery store One!
Now, empty out the organs and throw them in the trash can. Grab a Large Rectangular Foil Roaster Pan from the Dollar Store and toss the bird in.
Pre-heat your over to 200 Celsius and cook it for about 5 hours. If it’s too dry, Add Dollar Store Crystal Geyser Natural Alpine Spring Water to the pan to get the bird more wet and taste more juicy.
And there you have it! A delicious and traditional Canadian Thanksgiving meal for under $10 CAD.
So, you want to achieve the sound of Tool on guitar? It’s not an easy thing to do, but with this guide you can achieve those sounds of guitarist Adam Jones more easily than you could before. The Tool band featuring Maynard and others was well-loved by many adoring fans who thought they made good music. Their long, long songs were scary and they had dark nightmare themes in their music videos, such as the one that was claymation. They made dark music in the tradition of other great bands like Marilyn Manson, Ozzy Osbourne and Slipknot.
Guitar Tips n’ Tricks
Adam Jones of the Tool band uses many different very cool but very expensive guitars. Adam uses Gibson Les Paul guitars and Gibson SG guitars which are quite nice.
At only $36.95 it has everything you need to get the TOOl sound, including a Crescent Digital E-Tuner so that you can keep the guitar in tune while playing such Tool songs as Schism and Stinkfist.
Adam Jones use many big, heavy amps which are too heavy for the budget guitarist. Marshall heads, Sunn Heads and Mesa Boogies are just the beginning of all the big heavy amps he uses. While these amps are very cool, and great for achieving rock sounds, they weigh quite alot and cost even more. For the guitarist on a budget, I recommend the Barcelona 10 Watt Amp
It has everything you’d ever need to achieve a Tool sound, such as Volume knob, treble Knob and Bass knob. And at the low cheap cost of $39.99 it’s a no brainer to buy this one!
Adam Jones uses a plethora of rock effects to achieve his rock sounds. From Phasers, Flangers, Delays, Wahs and more! He even uses a talkbox, like Peter Frampton did in the olden days. BUt how can you achieve these essential tones on a budget? If you bought all the pedals Adam had they could cost up to $500 which is too much money.
I reccomend theCaline USA CP-32 Clear Veil PINK Overdrive Fuzz Guitar Effect Pedal. At $29, it gives you everything you need to achieve a rock sound, which Tool would use. It has a very nice Pink color.
So you want to be the bigshot and sound like Weezer, the Emo band? Doing so is not as easy as you think. Guitarist River Como, Guitarist Brian Bell and Bassist Scott Shriner are musicians and achieving their guitar and bass tones is not an easy task, however this article will show the musician on a budget how you can achieve their tones.
If you want to play songs such as Hashpipeor others, the first step is the guitars. Even though they are not that famous or good, The members of the Weezer are very wealthy from their success and can afford all of the most expensive instruments ever made. River and Brian play very expensive guitars from Fender and Gibson, which are too expensive to afford. Scott Shriner plays basses from Fender and Gibson, which are also incredibly expensive and not realistic to purchase.
But don’t worry. The truth is that all guitars sound exactly the same. The only difference is in their looks. Instead of a Gibson or Fender, why not try out this Davison Black Guitar from Amazon? It is great for achieving emo-style Weezer tones, and has a great color and look.
It is a very cool looking instrument and sounds great. If you decide you’d want to play bass like Scott Shriner, just tune the strings down to the bass notes using the included tuning pipe.
The Weezer people play very heavy expensive amps such as Marshall, Sunn and more. These are too big, loud and heavy for the budget guitarist. The included 5w amp with the Davison sounds just as good, and for the cheap low price it’s offered at and the low weight it weighs, how can you beat it?
Weezer people are known to play many expensive pedals. River plays the Rat distortion and Crybaby Wah. Brian Bell plays the Ibanez Tube Screamer and EHX Holy Grail. Scott Shriner plays the Voodoo Labs Power Supply.
These are all very expensive pedals that will cost an arm and a leg to purchase. Luckily there are other options, such as the ammoon PockRock Guitar Multi-effects Processor. It costs $32.99 and is basically just Weezer sounds in a box, and many of them, including distortion (rock sound) and modulation (other sounds) and delay (echo sounds).
It also includes a built in drum machine, which will play the Weezer-style beats so you don’t need a drummer.
The rockers in Weezer are getting old, so they probably snore and have Sleep Apnea. For this reason, it’s reccomended that you get a CPAP machine, to feel more like them. The name Weezer is most likely related to the Wheezing affliction associated with those that suffer from Sleep Apnea.