Efortless Ecstacy: The Simple and Easy One-Step Solution to Quit Vaping for Good
by James Franko
I was 31 years old and found myself tossing another empty 30ml bottle of Pina Colada vape juice into the waste bin. I heard the glass ‘clink’ as it hit the other 18 bottles in that bin. I hadn’t eaten in 2 weeks, because I couldn’t afford it. I needed the money to support my vape habit. Just 6 years earlier I could never have imagined myself in this position; destitute, skin and bones, endlessly suckling on a machine, and trying to evade the debt collectors because I hadn’t paid the insurance company for my recent plastic surgery operation. I knew this needed to stop. If only I had known then what I know now! I am 32 now and five months vape free! And in spite of everything I was told, it was EASY and SIMPLE! Quitting Vaping does not need to be the painful ordeal you think it is. Anyone can do it. Stop being a slave to your wick and coil! Learn how to live again, and be truly free. Read on to find out how.
Stubble, Rubble, Coil and Trouble
Before I tell you how you can quit vaping painlessly, I want to let you know that you have to quit for YOU. Not for me, or anyone else. Maybe you think Vaping is healthy, cool, a social lubricant or just a fun hobby. This is all social conditioning. Society has generated an image of Vape users as being part of an elite group, the cool and “in” crowd. The reality of being a chronic vape user couldn’t be further from the truth. Hollywood continues to propagate this dangerous stereotype by casting lead actors who Vape and include images of action heroes vaping in every hit film.
The music industry does the same, with nearly every rock n’ roller and rapper vaping up a storm in their music videos and live concert appearances. But beware friends—these performers are suffering far more than you think. Vaping is not a hobby or even a ‘bad habit.’ It is an addiction, plain and simple. Vaping addiction can be broken down into 4 primary stages.
The first is Stubble. You get so caught up in your vaping habit that you find yourself forgetting to shave. Your appearance is unkempt because you are focusing more on finding the right flavor e-juice with the appropriate VG/PG ratio. Step 2 is Rubble. You will look around and see that your life is beginning to fall apart because of that damned e-pen. All that’s left of your life and relationships will be the rubble that’s left behind. The note from your ex-wife telling you she’s left. Your daughter’s used diapers months after she’s been taken away by DHS. And all because you were lost in the clouds. Step 3 is Coil. Because a vape operates with a coil and a wick. After the Rubble stage is over, you will become even more immersed in your pipe, and will need to change your vape coil repeatedly. Step 4 is Trouble. You have run out of money and resources to supplement your vape habit and find yourself homeless, imprisoned or dead on the street.
I urge you, dear reader, to stop before it’s too late! You may be in the Stubble phase now, but for god’s sake don’t let it get to the Rubble Stage!
The vaping industry has you trapped. Trapped into thinking vaping is fun, trapped into thinking that the selection of flavors, from bubble gum to blueberry, are benign and benevolent…when in fact they are practical poison. The worst part is that the Vaping industry wants you to believe that quitting is difficult. Because when you think it’s difficult, you won’t make the effort. The fact of the matter is that quitting vaping is not only the best decision you’ll ever make in your life, it’s also easy and simple. With my one-step program you will no longer have to fear the 4 Phases of Vape Addiction: Stubble, Rubble, Coil and Trouble.
And even if you are trapped in the most grisly and nefarious stage, you can still opt out. It’s never too late! I’ve been counseling vape users to quit for over 4 months and have heard every excuse there is. “Vaping relaxes me!”…”It takes the edge off after a hard day”….”Just a few puffs on my vape when I wake up help get the day going”…”I’m just an addict I’ll never be able to quit.” These are all irrational fears and they are not rooted in reality. Let go of these fears. The vape juice has no power over you. Think about your friends who don’t vape, who aren’t troubled by second degree burns on their legs from unwieldy atomizers going off in their pockets. Think about your friends who don’t vape and don’t have to carry a backpack full of chargers, replacement coils and e-juice flavors with them at all times.
Think about your friends who don’t have oil stains on all their clothes from a faulty wick spurting e-juice everywhere. You’ve convinced yourself that you enjoy conversing with the vape store clerk who has tattoos on his face and double fists Monster Energy Drink and a custom modded battery. But the reality is that no one likes those people. When we give up vaping, we need to realize that we are giving up absolutely nothing, except for burden, stress and toil. Don’t think of quitting vaping as a sacrifice. Think of it as a new beginning, one in which you are truly free and not a servant to that despicable coil and wick. Read on to find out the one simple step you can take to cure yourself of the vaping disease.
The Pinky and the Brain
There are two body parts that effect and trigger the reward stimulus in the human body. Those two parts are the pinky and the brain. This is why vaping is so dangerously addictive. Because vape pens are operated using the pinky finger as a release, vaping over time creates neural pathways that the body interprets as being healthy and reward-giving. Vaping fools the body into thinking poison is nutritious. That’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s the truth.
The Truth Serum
Suppose someone asked you why you vape. How would you respond? A typical response from a vaping addict is “I like it.” or “It’s cool.” or “It saves me money and helps me quit smoking.”
Now suppose you were forced to take a truth serum, that allowed you to see through both the literal and metaphoric clouds. When on the serum, you would have no choice but tell the 100% truth at all times. My guess is that your answer would be much different. Why do you vape? “Because I am unhappy with who I am as a person.” “Because society expects me to.” “Because I have never been loved.”
While painful, these truths represent the core reasons we vape. And these are certainly not easy things to overcome! In our adult life it is close to impossible to overcome these difficult and very real emotions. Vaping is not a cure for these pains, and in many cases it makes you feel worse about these very same issues. If 15 years ago someone told you that you’d have an insatiable desire to suckle upon a machine all day long so that you could feel worse about yourself and pay out the behind to do it, would you have believed them? OF COURSE NOT!
No one wants to vape, we just convince ourselves that we do to cover up other less visible scars. But this isn’t like using a band-aid on a flesh wound…it’s like spraying HIV infected blood and feces into a flesh wound. I don’t want to make you afraid, because there’s a solution.. It’s not too late! My simple one step program will help you quit vaping now.
September 11th, 2001
When talking about the denial we experience in regards to vaping, I like to use the analogy of one of the darkest days in recent American history: the attacks on the World Trade Center that occurred on September 11th, 2001 (I think you’ll find it interesting to note that the first electronic cigarette was developed by a Chinese pharmacist in 2001). You find every reason in the world to keep vaping, and don’t want to acknowledge that you are quite literally killing yourself. Or maybe you do know of the harm you’re causing but you justify it in your mind. “Tomorrow there could be another 9/11 and I’ll just die anyway! What’s the point in giving up something I love if a terrorist is just going to kill me anyway?”
The fact is that the chances of dying in a terrorist attack are very low. But the chances of dying from the long term effects of vaping are extremely high! Over 40,000,000 Americans die from vaping related ailments every year. To put that in perspective, that’s like having a 9/11 every 4 hours, 365 days a year. You thought 9/11 was tragic, and indeed it was, but you’re terrorizing your body with every puff and creating a mini 9/11 for your friends and family when they have to lay to rest at age 43. But keep vaping proudly…heck, why not have an open-casket funeral, vape pen in hand?
The Myth of Physical Withdrawal
In my four months of counseling vaping addicts, I’ve found the most common misconception to be that the physical withdrawal will be unbearable and in the sick mind of the vaping addict this is therefore a great reason not to quit. While a traditional cold-turkey quit can be quite painful, my unique one step program will bypass any and all withdrawal symptoms. Besides, the physical withdrawal we experience from nicotine is mild at best. After all, we go to sleep every night for 8 hours without any nicotine.
What we are actually addicted to is the suckling sensation, and this is tied to our broken relationship with our mothers, who feed us breast milk as children. We desire suckling on her ample teet, and unknowingly use a vape pen to experience this very same thing. “I was never breast fed as a child so that’s not my situation!” is what many readers are probably thinking. However, your life experience is not the reason for this behavioral trait. Thousands of years of human evolution, along with the experiences of our cro magnon ancestors have led to these intrinsic desires. If you don’t believe me, call your mother (if she is still alive) and ask to suckle upon her breast. I guarantee that once you do, you will not be desiring a hit off your vape for at least a few hours.
“Well why not just tell people to suckle their mother’s breast to quit vaping?” While this is a workable solution, I find that it puts a terrible strain on the mothers, who have their own lives to lead. In addition to that, some people have dead or ailing mothers, or don’t like being around their mothers. I have seen 3-5% of my patients use this technique successfully but it absolutely depends on having the right mother, who is willing to follow you around as you go to your job, to the supermarket, etc. and be ready in the car with her teet to suckle upon. My professional opinion is that you should STOP BEING A SUCKLING PIG AND QUIT VAPING FOR GOOOD!
The First and Only Step:Step One
My extremely simple one step program is easy as pie. The one step program only features several sub-steps. Once you complete each of these sub-steps, and thereby complete the one step, you will be vape free, guaranteed. The sub-steps are as follows:
Get rid of ALL vape devices around you. This includes atomizers, wicks, coils and even any vape juice. Some people who are quitting vaping try to throw away everything but the juice, and desperately attempt to either free base or drink it in a bad bout of withdrawal. Don’t let this happen to you. Get rid of it… ALL…NOW!
End all relationships with vape users. It doesn’t matter if they are your lover, your friend, your family member. If they are vaping they are killing themselves and therefore they don’t value their relationship to you anyway. You are too good for them. Cut off all contact immediately. You don’t need to be burdened with the toxicity that these ne’er-do-wells most certainly emanate. If you live within walking distance of a vapor shop or a head shop that sells e-juice you must MOVE. Do not let yourself go down this road again because of controllable external stimuli.
This is the most important sub-step of all and following it correctly will guarantee a vape-free lifestyle. And it couldn’t be easier. Instead of lugging around your battery, your mod, your juices, your endless streams of wicks and coils, simplify things and START SMOKING CIGARETTES! It’s that easy! While they can be more expensive, the high is much more rewarding and doing it is endless fun. People who smoke are cool, and people who vape are not! There couldn’t more easy, fun and effective tool! Follow this sub-step and buy a pack of your favorite cigs. Be they Marlboro, Camel or Newport, smoking cigarettes is the ultimate solution for quitting vaping.
Staying off the E-Pen for Life
If you follow my one-step program and all of its substeps, you will never desire a puff on that nefarious e-pen again. But do follow all of the instructions. And most importantly, HAVE NO FEAR! Vaping is something that you can quit. In my four months of counseling I have successfully cured dozens of vaping addicts with my solution. So throw away your mod, throw away your battery, light up a cigarette, and finally, live your life again!